Okay, so this pregnancy thing is really starting to get funnier by the day....It seems that each day is a new adventure for me and my body. Each day it gets a little harder to get out of bed. Not because I am tired but because my belly is bigger. Each day it seems it takes longer to take the dog on a walk. We still go the same route, same time of morning, same pee stops for him, same bushes and posts to sniff, but it is taking longer for me to walk it. Each day my pregnant waddle becomes more and more obvious. Each day it's harder to see my ankles. Every other day I am drinking through yet another gallon of milk and orange juice. Each day my bed time seems earlier. Each night I pee more and more frequently....
So basically I am entering my 30th week of this journey. Wow.. 30 weeks of having my little man grow inside me. It really is incredible. He is moving so much and it makes me so happy. Dan loved to put his face on my belly and have the baby kick him in the face. It's really neat. I am looking forward to the next time I get to see him on an ultra-sound, not next week but maybe sometime in late Jan or early Feb. Things are still holding strong for the little man to come out of me via C-Section anywhere between the 3rd and the 11th of march. I am leaving it up to the doctor to tell me when...
January is a busy month with baby stuff going on, in lew of all the family stuff too, but right now I am looking forward to the appointments and the shower and the classes and more that is happening...but I will share a few things with you that I have noticed.
I really do not mind showing my belly off to people. They want to touch it, okay... as long as I know who you are...
I have actually had a really good time in being pregnant. I mean some people don't like it and some people are ashamed and some people have only negative things to say.. but I have found it more and more enjoyable and actually funny than anything.
My belly seems like it has popped overnight. Dan looks at me and will say.."Shit honey, your belly is REALLY getting big." It's true I know it is.
I do not have a protruding naval and I wonder if I will get one.
I cannot wait to do my belly cast and Dan wants to hang it over our bed.
The other day Dan told me how pretty I looked, and I cried because I thought it was the nicest thing he has ever told me... My emotions are running high...tears can come at any moment.. I would be a good soap opera actress. I can cry on cue now...
The other day, I had THE most pregnant moment EVER.... walking out of work with a my friend Michelle, I commented on how humid it was...(really, my forever bitch is the humid weather this winter) anyway when I got into the car I had a coughing fit. When the weather is humid all I do is cough..ever since my little stint at the ER with an upper chest infection, I cough a lot...It is now subsiding but as long as there is no humidity...So I am driving home and by the way it is Christmas Eve... I turn the corner off the main road to get onto the connecting street, right at the turn at the Little Italy restaurant and it happens. I cough so hard I pee...yup, I coughed again and I peed again. Two time in my NEW pants that Dan just got me. I get out of the car and felt my pants and yup. Pee. Dan has the door open for me and the house is nice and he has a few special things planned for Christmas eve.. and I raced in the house and stripped down, telling him not to get any ideas and that I had just peed my pants 'cause I coughed so hard.... We laughed a lot. It was funny.
I am sure there is more to come and that it will just be funnier as time gets closer. Like the stuff that will come out of my boobs before the baby is even born. The greatest thing about this journey for me and I will include my husband on this one, it that we have laughed so much at the changes that are happening and we have embraced them with so much humor and open hearts and full honesty. My questions to people are those that the book does not tell you. I ask honest questions, I get honest answers...and I like that. If I were younger, I would do this again, but one child is all we will have and all we really want. So it has been a wonder pregnancy and all the funny things that goes with this...
Peeing my pants... may just be breaking the ice for the rest of the stuff that happens to me in the next seven weeks...I don't mind at all. "Bring it all on" I say. I am ready for it. So it will be fun to see what will happen. I guess it all comes with the territory....
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
One Of The Best...
It was a special Christmas for me this year... Lots of people have said to me...."You and Danny will have a great Christmas because it's your last one alone...next year there will be a baby." and I smile.
Yeah that's kind of true it IS our last year as the two of us. But it has been a busy month and nothing to do with the baby. We really chose this year to take a different route when it came to Christmas, and to be honest I really liked the way it all fell into place. It was very much out of the norm but felt totally right.
As the Mayo family we celebrated a few days early since we all had to work on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. And that celebreation was wonderful. So nice, few gifts to exchange, because as we get older we really see how we don't need things we just need each other. This I find to be more important than the gifts. I can never ask for things anymore, I just ask for togetherness.
Christmas Day after work my mom came to our house and Danny did a great job of cooking cheeseburgers on the grille. I know it sounds funny to have cheeseburgers but it was just what mom wanted and it was so nice to not worry about the big feast. We sat relaxed sharing stories.
We then proceeded to go to the Hospital downtown Naples to see Danny's father who has been there for almost two weeks now. He suffered a stroke and has had so many complications. It has been a rough journey for him and Dan and Dan's sister Donna.
It was an unsettling way to end the beautiful holiday but a very important way to end it. To me seeing my father in law in his state, wrenched my heart. I did everything in my power not to cry because he looks so sad in his eyes and uncomfortable. I don't know what to say. When my own father was sick it was hard to see too, but they are two totally different men with completely different happenings. With Bobby you just cannot communicate well, my dad was talking up to the last few hours it seemed. I don't know really. All I pray for in this situation is God's Will to be done. God's will not anyone else's. My husband was so sad last night and almost embarrassed that he took mom and I into this situation. I understand his concern, but you have to know all the time that mom and I have spent at hospitals with people, our own family or someone else's... It's just natural for us... even like going to the cemetery... it's like an Italian thing... you just do it. Unphasing but sorrowful, if that makes any sense.
Once Bobby got settled and we came home, we were tired. Dan kept apologizing to me for the end of Christmas and his sorrow. I could not help but think in my mind, that this really was a perfect Christmas...sounds funny, but it has helped me think about the future. We will have a child in our midst next year, and it will be special, but the thing that I really need to work on is centering this holiday with family and not the GREAT notion of gifts and stuff. Yeah go ahead and spoil my kid, but when it comes down to it, Joey will know that there are so many out there who are alone and who do not receive and it's about giving....Just as we were given this gift of the life of Jesus. I will never rule out the magic of Santa to our son. Santa brings so much happiness and wonder to children....but he will know as he grows, even young, that maybe delivering food to home bound people, or casting a few gifts for seniors or children in need or giving of himself or the family for others is what the season needs to be about. Doing our part. My parents did that with us and it humbles you in such a cold society. I hope I am able to hold myself to this writing and this notion....
There were plenty of people walking out of the hospital last night alone. I have no idea of their stories and why they were there and if they were leaving a child or a spouse behind and going home to end their Christmas alone. I cant get that out of my head. Nor can I get my husbands pain out of my heart and the image of his dad laying there out of my thoughts...I need these reminders to tell me that not everything is going my way and not everything is all pretty and rosy and about the baby that I carry. And that I cannot have everything I want. There are so many things that are listed on my calender for the next few months, but they are not as important as being there for my husband as this trek that takes him through the trenches he is in at the moment.
We really had the calmest Christmas I could have ever had at home and I loved it that way. The pressure of life was far more important to us than the pressure of gifts and competing and food and dressing up and more...just to sit with each other and share the emotion of feeling..and what we were feeling. I cant ask for much more at the moment. I will be here as long as he needs me to be and I will be here when he asks be to be...I Will not smother my husband unless he wants me. I need to be submissive and respectful as Dan was when my dad was sick and when he passed.
With all this blabbering on, it could be hard for you reading this to think that Dan and Missy Williams had a nice Christmas, but you know what we did. There was a lot that came out of the past twenty four hours and Christ shone through majestically. A mountain of toys could never replace what we did this year. Although sounds quirky, it had to have been one of the best.
Yeah that's kind of true it IS our last year as the two of us. But it has been a busy month and nothing to do with the baby. We really chose this year to take a different route when it came to Christmas, and to be honest I really liked the way it all fell into place. It was very much out of the norm but felt totally right.
As the Mayo family we celebrated a few days early since we all had to work on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. And that celebreation was wonderful. So nice, few gifts to exchange, because as we get older we really see how we don't need things we just need each other. This I find to be more important than the gifts. I can never ask for things anymore, I just ask for togetherness.
Christmas Day after work my mom came to our house and Danny did a great job of cooking cheeseburgers on the grille. I know it sounds funny to have cheeseburgers but it was just what mom wanted and it was so nice to not worry about the big feast. We sat relaxed sharing stories.
We then proceeded to go to the Hospital downtown Naples to see Danny's father who has been there for almost two weeks now. He suffered a stroke and has had so many complications. It has been a rough journey for him and Dan and Dan's sister Donna.
It was an unsettling way to end the beautiful holiday but a very important way to end it. To me seeing my father in law in his state, wrenched my heart. I did everything in my power not to cry because he looks so sad in his eyes and uncomfortable. I don't know what to say. When my own father was sick it was hard to see too, but they are two totally different men with completely different happenings. With Bobby you just cannot communicate well, my dad was talking up to the last few hours it seemed. I don't know really. All I pray for in this situation is God's Will to be done. God's will not anyone else's. My husband was so sad last night and almost embarrassed that he took mom and I into this situation. I understand his concern, but you have to know all the time that mom and I have spent at hospitals with people, our own family or someone else's... It's just natural for us... even like going to the cemetery... it's like an Italian thing... you just do it. Unphasing but sorrowful, if that makes any sense.
Once Bobby got settled and we came home, we were tired. Dan kept apologizing to me for the end of Christmas and his sorrow. I could not help but think in my mind, that this really was a perfect Christmas...sounds funny, but it has helped me think about the future. We will have a child in our midst next year, and it will be special, but the thing that I really need to work on is centering this holiday with family and not the GREAT notion of gifts and stuff. Yeah go ahead and spoil my kid, but when it comes down to it, Joey will know that there are so many out there who are alone and who do not receive and it's about giving....Just as we were given this gift of the life of Jesus. I will never rule out the magic of Santa to our son. Santa brings so much happiness and wonder to children....but he will know as he grows, even young, that maybe delivering food to home bound people, or casting a few gifts for seniors or children in need or giving of himself or the family for others is what the season needs to be about. Doing our part. My parents did that with us and it humbles you in such a cold society. I hope I am able to hold myself to this writing and this notion....
There were plenty of people walking out of the hospital last night alone. I have no idea of their stories and why they were there and if they were leaving a child or a spouse behind and going home to end their Christmas alone. I cant get that out of my head. Nor can I get my husbands pain out of my heart and the image of his dad laying there out of my thoughts...I need these reminders to tell me that not everything is going my way and not everything is all pretty and rosy and about the baby that I carry. And that I cannot have everything I want. There are so many things that are listed on my calender for the next few months, but they are not as important as being there for my husband as this trek that takes him through the trenches he is in at the moment.
We really had the calmest Christmas I could have ever had at home and I loved it that way. The pressure of life was far more important to us than the pressure of gifts and competing and food and dressing up and more...just to sit with each other and share the emotion of feeling..and what we were feeling. I cant ask for much more at the moment. I will be here as long as he needs me to be and I will be here when he asks be to be...I Will not smother my husband unless he wants me. I need to be submissive and respectful as Dan was when my dad was sick and when he passed.
With all this blabbering on, it could be hard for you reading this to think that Dan and Missy Williams had a nice Christmas, but you know what we did. There was a lot that came out of the past twenty four hours and Christ shone through majestically. A mountain of toys could never replace what we did this year. Although sounds quirky, it had to have been one of the best.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
It's Perfect
Today is Christams Eve... it is my absolute favorite day of the year..Easter and Forth of July are close.. But nothing competes to Christmas Eve...
This year I have to spend Christmas Eve at the hotel working until eight pm, in a bathing suit shop where no one will purchase anything past five pm...but whatever, I look at it this way. It is my last Christmas working until my son wants nothing to do with his family....so for now. I will work....
But growing up, I don't know how my mom did it. She worked full time and hosted a huge open house for the eve. I mean people and relatives from all over came to celebrate the night before Christmas. When little, so friends and I would dress up like the nativity people and put on a small play. We were all excited children for the next day. We anticipated what Jolly Ole Saint Nick would be bringing to us that night and we were not so eager to go to bed for fear we would miss out on the party but wanted to sleep right away for fear Santa would not stop by and pay a visit....it was exciting. As time went on and we grew Christmas Eve changed and it was just as wonderful. The gathering became small and intimate. Sometimes we traveled and other times it was just the immediate family. And it was just a perfect. Mid-night mass at St. Johns in Hingham for me became a beautiful tradition and I LOVED the choir as well as listening to Father Robert tell the magnificent story of the birth of Christ. He captivated everyone at eleven thirty at night and you walked out of church with the true essence of what it must have felt like to be a part of that special night when Christ was born.
Now that I am living in Florida and I'm married and expecting a child soon, my mind often thinks about how I would like to begin or carry on traditions of my childhood to my son. Last night we celebrated Christmas with my family. There was seven of us and it was perfect. We had killer food and lots of fun. We did not have many gifts this year because we all did not want any and the gifts are not the real meaning of it all...for us it's Jesus and being together as a family and loving one another. This is what we do cherish the most is family and togetherness. I expressed to Dan many months ago that someday when we live in a bigger home, how I would love to have Christmas Eve as our celebration holiday and have an open house, just like I did as a child. So fun. It would mean so much to us if we did that...Then leaving our family Christmas celebration last night Dan said to me, what a perfect evening it was....I started thinking... maybe we don't need all the hub bub of a big party. It's just the family being together.....It's perfect.
The birth of Christ is celebrated each year with so much to do and if you don't get this gift or that gift or whatever then feelings get hurt and much more. But I cannot get past how I wonder if Mary really knew the magnitude of the birth that she was to deliver us. There was no really hoopla of Jesus when he was born in that stable. Mary may have been just as happy with the gift of her son like any of us..But Gods plan for him was being paved. She was special to God and chosen by Him to birth Jesus and raise him....We cant say what it was really like because we were not there and the story in the Bible tells of a great account. How special that she was chosen to be the mom of our Lord. I love the true simplicity of this holiday.. The real story not all the nonsense that goes with it...I love that a king was born in a manger in a stable in a small town to parents who were probably pretty nervous...as we all are...
the eve of Christmas has so much anticipation and so much meaning to me, I just love it. I cannot wait for the years to come to share so much and learn so much and love so much and continue to give simply on this day. Celebrate Christmas with ease and comfort....with hope for a new year and prayers of health and good will to men. To let the Spirit of Christ touch your life and allow Him and His work to flow through you with so much love. To latch on to those in need and see God work in you life as well as others.
Mary gave birth to Jesus, and it's perfect....just perfect.
This year I have to spend Christmas Eve at the hotel working until eight pm, in a bathing suit shop where no one will purchase anything past five pm...but whatever, I look at it this way. It is my last Christmas working until my son wants nothing to do with his family....so for now. I will work....
But growing up, I don't know how my mom did it. She worked full time and hosted a huge open house for the eve. I mean people and relatives from all over came to celebrate the night before Christmas. When little, so friends and I would dress up like the nativity people and put on a small play. We were all excited children for the next day. We anticipated what Jolly Ole Saint Nick would be bringing to us that night and we were not so eager to go to bed for fear we would miss out on the party but wanted to sleep right away for fear Santa would not stop by and pay a visit....it was exciting. As time went on and we grew Christmas Eve changed and it was just as wonderful. The gathering became small and intimate. Sometimes we traveled and other times it was just the immediate family. And it was just a perfect. Mid-night mass at St. Johns in Hingham for me became a beautiful tradition and I LOVED the choir as well as listening to Father Robert tell the magnificent story of the birth of Christ. He captivated everyone at eleven thirty at night and you walked out of church with the true essence of what it must have felt like to be a part of that special night when Christ was born.
Now that I am living in Florida and I'm married and expecting a child soon, my mind often thinks about how I would like to begin or carry on traditions of my childhood to my son. Last night we celebrated Christmas with my family. There was seven of us and it was perfect. We had killer food and lots of fun. We did not have many gifts this year because we all did not want any and the gifts are not the real meaning of it all...for us it's Jesus and being together as a family and loving one another. This is what we do cherish the most is family and togetherness. I expressed to Dan many months ago that someday when we live in a bigger home, how I would love to have Christmas Eve as our celebration holiday and have an open house, just like I did as a child. So fun. It would mean so much to us if we did that...Then leaving our family Christmas celebration last night Dan said to me, what a perfect evening it was....I started thinking... maybe we don't need all the hub bub of a big party. It's just the family being together.....It's perfect.
The birth of Christ is celebrated each year with so much to do and if you don't get this gift or that gift or whatever then feelings get hurt and much more. But I cannot get past how I wonder if Mary really knew the magnitude of the birth that she was to deliver us. There was no really hoopla of Jesus when he was born in that stable. Mary may have been just as happy with the gift of her son like any of us..But Gods plan for him was being paved. She was special to God and chosen by Him to birth Jesus and raise him....We cant say what it was really like because we were not there and the story in the Bible tells of a great account. How special that she was chosen to be the mom of our Lord. I love the true simplicity of this holiday.. The real story not all the nonsense that goes with it...I love that a king was born in a manger in a stable in a small town to parents who were probably pretty nervous...as we all are...
the eve of Christmas has so much anticipation and so much meaning to me, I just love it. I cannot wait for the years to come to share so much and learn so much and love so much and continue to give simply on this day. Celebrate Christmas with ease and comfort....with hope for a new year and prayers of health and good will to men. To let the Spirit of Christ touch your life and allow Him and His work to flow through you with so much love. To latch on to those in need and see God work in you life as well as others.
Mary gave birth to Jesus, and it's perfect....just perfect.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Seven Year Itch....
Today is December 19, 2009. My husband and I have officially been married for seven years.
I like this because I love him so much...Have you ever thought back at the guys you dated and THOUGHT in your youth that you would marry...and then when you find out what they are like today and what they are doing today...thinking that you could have been a part of their train wrecks or successes... I'm good.
We were married in Marco Island, FL at the Marriott Beach Resort. It was at about 7pm, with maybe thirty people watching the "consomit bachelor" say "I do" to me. The one that roped him in and 'showed him the way...' (not really) In seven years I think we have shown each other the way...The hotel was decorated for Christmas and everything was beautiful for us. Just what we wanted. Nothing fancy or loud of over the top. just us. they did such a beautiful job....
And for seven years Dan has been putting up with me and I with him. Lots of ups and not to many downs. Lots to look forward to and plenty to laugh about when we look back. One anniversary we picked up our little Miles at the shelter and brought him home and kept him for ours...
We don't do anything fancy on this day, we just like to be together you know. But I have to be honest. I still LOVE my husband so very much. I always hear stories of some people who have been married for a shorter amount of time that are bad mouthing their spouse or splitting up of whatever, but I cannot fathom that. I love to be home when Dan gets home from work, of love to wrap my arms around him and feel safe. I love to love on him and take care of him and I miss him when we are not together....It's just all the right thing for us... Us being together. We are not the argue type and we disagree on stuff...yes, but we respect each other so much and sacrifice for each other so well. We just love each other and are so grateful for that.
Now we will add our son to the mix of our union. We added a dog so why not a kid. But you know what, each day is a new one with my husband. It is a blessed on e with him and a loving one with him. I am his biggest fan and the neck that turns his head...but after seven years.. I am still SOOOO happy...
Needless to say, there are no signs of a Seven Year Itch....
I like this because I love him so much...Have you ever thought back at the guys you dated and THOUGHT in your youth that you would marry...and then when you find out what they are like today and what they are doing today...thinking that you could have been a part of their train wrecks or successes... I'm good.
We were married in Marco Island, FL at the Marriott Beach Resort. It was at about 7pm, with maybe thirty people watching the "consomit bachelor" say "I do" to me. The one that roped him in and 'showed him the way...' (not really) In seven years I think we have shown each other the way...The hotel was decorated for Christmas and everything was beautiful for us. Just what we wanted. Nothing fancy or loud of over the top. just us. they did such a beautiful job....
And for seven years Dan has been putting up with me and I with him. Lots of ups and not to many downs. Lots to look forward to and plenty to laugh about when we look back. One anniversary we picked up our little Miles at the shelter and brought him home and kept him for ours...
We don't do anything fancy on this day, we just like to be together you know. But I have to be honest. I still LOVE my husband so very much. I always hear stories of some people who have been married for a shorter amount of time that are bad mouthing their spouse or splitting up of whatever, but I cannot fathom that. I love to be home when Dan gets home from work, of love to wrap my arms around him and feel safe. I love to love on him and take care of him and I miss him when we are not together....It's just all the right thing for us... Us being together. We are not the argue type and we disagree on stuff...yes, but we respect each other so much and sacrifice for each other so well. We just love each other and are so grateful for that.
Now we will add our son to the mix of our union. We added a dog so why not a kid. But you know what, each day is a new one with my husband. It is a blessed on e with him and a loving one with him. I am his biggest fan and the neck that turns his head...but after seven years.. I am still SOOOO happy...
Needless to say, there are no signs of a Seven Year Itch....
Friday, December 18, 2009
That Kinda Morning....
It's 10am and I am still in my pajamas... Not because I am sick but because I am lazy at the moment... or this morning....
I worked last night fro 3-9pm and tonight from 3-8pm. I have become the "fill in night bitch" as me and my co-workers are calling my new position. I really do not like working nights anymore. I had done it for OH.... lets see fifteen years maybe. So when I climbed on bored at the hotel, eager and ready, I was blessed with all daytime shitf working . Selling retail in some great shops....(really it's retail, it's not as exciting as I just made it out to be). But lately in the past month or two I have been what I call banished to the Boutique, (the ladies dress shop..which is really not all that bad) but night time work. Okay that does suck. I have an opposite schedule of my husband and he hates it, BUT, i am not making any waves with this one...think about it... The way it works in the department is... IF you stand up for yourself, call out sick, make a suggestion or even just comment on something .. you are black listed. It happens all the time, each day and everyday to my co-workers. I see it and hear it. I have also heard a few negative comments about me from the blacklisters. I really could care less too. Because I have like what 7,8 weeks left before I am done and have my baby...so this is why I am not rocking the boat. No point. I was asked to work Christmas, I said sure, cause it will be the last Christmas I work. One of the blacklisters looked at me with a funny expression... I rubbed my belly and walked away..My life outside the hotel is far wore wonderful than my life INSIDE the hotel. Nothing is more important to me than my family... Not even selling the latest style of Trina Turk dresses......TRUTH be told.
Okay, the point of my story is this night time shit has me all off kilter. I have been on a set schedule with everything and have loved my life. Up early and get things done before work and home and get more things done. It works for me and Dan and Miles... So now I am tired in the morning. But I usually try to keep things the way they were before the night shift hit me again.
Today was different. The other night I has such shitty sleep. I have this pregnant thing going on and it comes with something called Restless Leg Syndrome. Can't stand it and keeps me awake. So not much sleep has been going on, plus all the other shit that is happening around me in my world....Dan's little old dad had a stroke and is in hospital...my husband is depressed with that one, I have to try to be the cheerleader, work, bake a baby, get ready for a baby, pay bills, keep up with he shopping and cooking along with... plan a Christmas with my family. DO the Christmas shopping, have an anniversary, get some sex in there somewhere, take care of the dog, wonder how much it will cost to have my computer fixed and more... You know... the basic holiday shit.
I did however get good sleep last night but woke up to pouring rain. FINE with me. It was pissing rain, coming down like Niagara falls out of the side of the gutters. Sheets, it was great. I watched it from the bed. Miles took his time getting on top of the bed this morning like he does each day....I put a movie in that a friend lent me and laid there listening to the rain and watching a cute movie. I was so happy. Every so often I would stretch my legs and feel the soreness in my feet form being on them so much at work. I would rollover and get in a comfy position and take a deep breath and relax. I would feel my son move inside me. I would scratch Miles' belly and find happiness. The rain kept us in and groggy. It was great. Just cooked and egg and now I am sharing this with you.....
It may sound funny to you since I spent so much time in bed with my chest cold, but there was no relaxing there. When I am on the mend from something I am not relaxing....Please note I am not one to relax period. To much to do and not enough time to do it....Okay there really is... but there is always something else AND I am moving a bit slower these days since I am growing. It's a concept, an idea that relaxing is good for you, it is good for you.. this idea, is healthy but it is not followed anymore by me with this morning as an exception. I have enjoyed the morning.
It will rain all day and most likely flood the streets, slow the traffic down and all will be a mess, but for the few hours I really only had to myself, it was perfect. It was that kinda morning....
I worked last night fro 3-9pm and tonight from 3-8pm. I have become the "fill in night bitch" as me and my co-workers are calling my new position. I really do not like working nights anymore. I had done it for OH.... lets see fifteen years maybe. So when I climbed on bored at the hotel, eager and ready, I was blessed with all daytime shitf working . Selling retail in some great shops....(really it's retail, it's not as exciting as I just made it out to be). But lately in the past month or two I have been what I call banished to the Boutique, (the ladies dress shop..which is really not all that bad) but night time work. Okay that does suck. I have an opposite schedule of my husband and he hates it, BUT, i am not making any waves with this one...think about it... The way it works in the department is... IF you stand up for yourself, call out sick, make a suggestion or even just comment on something .. you are black listed. It happens all the time, each day and everyday to my co-workers. I see it and hear it. I have also heard a few negative comments about me from the blacklisters. I really could care less too. Because I have like what 7,8 weeks left before I am done and have my baby...so this is why I am not rocking the boat. No point. I was asked to work Christmas, I said sure, cause it will be the last Christmas I work. One of the blacklisters looked at me with a funny expression... I rubbed my belly and walked away..My life outside the hotel is far wore wonderful than my life INSIDE the hotel. Nothing is more important to me than my family... Not even selling the latest style of Trina Turk dresses......TRUTH be told.
Okay, the point of my story is this night time shit has me all off kilter. I have been on a set schedule with everything and have loved my life. Up early and get things done before work and home and get more things done. It works for me and Dan and Miles... So now I am tired in the morning. But I usually try to keep things the way they were before the night shift hit me again.
Today was different. The other night I has such shitty sleep. I have this pregnant thing going on and it comes with something called Restless Leg Syndrome. Can't stand it and keeps me awake. So not much sleep has been going on, plus all the other shit that is happening around me in my world....Dan's little old dad had a stroke and is in hospital...my husband is depressed with that one, I have to try to be the cheerleader, work, bake a baby, get ready for a baby, pay bills, keep up with he shopping and cooking along with... plan a Christmas with my family. DO the Christmas shopping, have an anniversary, get some sex in there somewhere, take care of the dog, wonder how much it will cost to have my computer fixed and more... You know... the basic holiday shit.
I did however get good sleep last night but woke up to pouring rain. FINE with me. It was pissing rain, coming down like Niagara falls out of the side of the gutters. Sheets, it was great. I watched it from the bed. Miles took his time getting on top of the bed this morning like he does each day....I put a movie in that a friend lent me and laid there listening to the rain and watching a cute movie. I was so happy. Every so often I would stretch my legs and feel the soreness in my feet form being on them so much at work. I would rollover and get in a comfy position and take a deep breath and relax. I would feel my son move inside me. I would scratch Miles' belly and find happiness. The rain kept us in and groggy. It was great. Just cooked and egg and now I am sharing this with you.....
It may sound funny to you since I spent so much time in bed with my chest cold, but there was no relaxing there. When I am on the mend from something I am not relaxing....Please note I am not one to relax period. To much to do and not enough time to do it....Okay there really is... but there is always something else AND I am moving a bit slower these days since I am growing. It's a concept, an idea that relaxing is good for you, it is good for you.. this idea, is healthy but it is not followed anymore by me with this morning as an exception. I have enjoyed the morning.
It will rain all day and most likely flood the streets, slow the traffic down and all will be a mess, but for the few hours I really only had to myself, it was perfect. It was that kinda morning....
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Food....
We were watching the movie 'Lethal Weapon 4' the other night. Dan had been wanting to see it because in this movie, Rene Ruso's charater is having Mel Gibson's baby. Dan likes to pull out movies that have bad guys and shoot em up scenes and babies....
Anyway... there was this part in the movie that Rene Russo was making breakfast and she and Mel Gibson were talking and she said the wisest pregnant words I have heard through my entire seven months of being pregnant with my little son....."Nothing stands in between a pregnant lady and food." I laughed sooo hard because it is the truth.
In my house we eat. That is our nature. We are fun eaters, social eaters, emotional eaters and all the eaters you can think of, we were them. How my sister stayed sooo thin is impressive...But when you are pregnant.... it really is an open door to eat. I have had a few cravings here and there.. taco bell at a random time, ice cream in the middle of the day, watermelon as if it's going out of style, (now it's just out of season) and I have bypassed pasta which is unheard of in my family....but fear not the wan for bread and cheese are still there. Lots of milk and a ton of orange juice... That's really the extent of the CRAVINGS so far....However....there is way more to this story.....
Dan has been great at deciding what we should have for dinner. I appreciate that. Since I am at work all day too, I just cannot add another decision to make to my plate so I let Dan do it... It's a kind gesture to me and he always asks what I would like... I usually do not care.. because I really don't...BUT once it has been decided on then there is no stopping me.... I could have a HUGE fruit salad in front of me and eat the entire thing... I could have a steak in front of me and eat it all...(not really a steak fan)..One time before Thanksgiving, Dan's dad came to stay with us and our plan was to have burgers for dinner...but it was raining so I stopped at the store and got a meatloaf on the way home w/ all kind of trimmings to go with it. I was pushing the boys to eat it up so there would not be any leftovers.....I ate it up.. I cannot stand meatloaf...I made so much of it when his dad lived with us that I really got over it, but this night I could not stop.
Cole slaw is another thing i would never give the time of day too and I cannot get enough of...Popsicles now are the rave for me... You know I will just eat and not get full. It's funny. I eat a lot of fruit and salads than any thing else, but the amount I eat is a riot. I laugh at myself in amazement. I used to HATE the food that they fed us at work. It's a free lunch and you get what they give you or the choice of deli meats and a gross salad bar. I mean people get sick from this place...Cant stop myself from eating there....I even bring food to work with me....
A few weeks ago it was a Sunday morning and I was heading into work... On Sundays the hotel cafeteria provides a small breakfast for the employees..so I was getting ready to leave and Dan said..."you are leaving so early" and I said..."Free breakfast in the ICU." kissed him and off I went.
Now I sound as if I have gained loads of weight from my eating binges...but I really have not. Yes I have put on some and will end this pregnant venture under what I had estimated, but so far so good...Again I'm not into the sweets and cakes and cookies and stuff, but the carbs are not that helpful either... it's all good though. Joey will be like his Grandfather....(my dad) I bet a big boy with a big appetite... Yet I am fine if he ends up like Dan... ( a small appetite) A hotel buffet which is so good, will make money on Dan because he is such a small eater where they would lose money on me....
....An open door for food.... A love for food...a baby growing inside me that needs food....OOO... one more very important thing.... My biggest advice to ANY woman out there who is having a baby... Stay away from the FOOD NETWORK channel.. Not a good channel to watch. You will want to eat everything that is on....But in the end...It's all about FOOD.
Anyway... there was this part in the movie that Rene Russo was making breakfast and she and Mel Gibson were talking and she said the wisest pregnant words I have heard through my entire seven months of being pregnant with my little son....."Nothing stands in between a pregnant lady and food." I laughed sooo hard because it is the truth.
In my house we eat. That is our nature. We are fun eaters, social eaters, emotional eaters and all the eaters you can think of, we were them. How my sister stayed sooo thin is impressive...But when you are pregnant.... it really is an open door to eat. I have had a few cravings here and there.. taco bell at a random time, ice cream in the middle of the day, watermelon as if it's going out of style, (now it's just out of season) and I have bypassed pasta which is unheard of in my family....but fear not the wan for bread and cheese are still there. Lots of milk and a ton of orange juice... That's really the extent of the CRAVINGS so far....However....there is way more to this story.....
Dan has been great at deciding what we should have for dinner. I appreciate that. Since I am at work all day too, I just cannot add another decision to make to my plate so I let Dan do it... It's a kind gesture to me and he always asks what I would like... I usually do not care.. because I really don't...BUT once it has been decided on then there is no stopping me.... I could have a HUGE fruit salad in front of me and eat the entire thing... I could have a steak in front of me and eat it all...(not really a steak fan)..One time before Thanksgiving, Dan's dad came to stay with us and our plan was to have burgers for dinner...but it was raining so I stopped at the store and got a meatloaf on the way home w/ all kind of trimmings to go with it. I was pushing the boys to eat it up so there would not be any leftovers.....I ate it up.. I cannot stand meatloaf...I made so much of it when his dad lived with us that I really got over it, but this night I could not stop.
Cole slaw is another thing i would never give the time of day too and I cannot get enough of...Popsicles now are the rave for me... You know I will just eat and not get full. It's funny. I eat a lot of fruit and salads than any thing else, but the amount I eat is a riot. I laugh at myself in amazement. I used to HATE the food that they fed us at work. It's a free lunch and you get what they give you or the choice of deli meats and a gross salad bar. I mean people get sick from this place...Cant stop myself from eating there....I even bring food to work with me....
A few weeks ago it was a Sunday morning and I was heading into work... On Sundays the hotel cafeteria provides a small breakfast for the employees..so I was getting ready to leave and Dan said..."you are leaving so early" and I said..."Free breakfast in the ICU." kissed him and off I went.
Now I sound as if I have gained loads of weight from my eating binges...but I really have not. Yes I have put on some and will end this pregnant venture under what I had estimated, but so far so good...Again I'm not into the sweets and cakes and cookies and stuff, but the carbs are not that helpful either... it's all good though. Joey will be like his Grandfather....(my dad) I bet a big boy with a big appetite... Yet I am fine if he ends up like Dan... ( a small appetite) A hotel buffet which is so good, will make money on Dan because he is such a small eater where they would lose money on me....
....An open door for food.... A love for food...a baby growing inside me that needs food....OOO... one more very important thing.... My biggest advice to ANY woman out there who is having a baby... Stay away from the FOOD NETWORK channel.. Not a good channel to watch. You will want to eat everything that is on....But in the end...It's all about FOOD.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
That Glass of Wine Soon...
I ran into an old friend the other day...it was kind of funny. We sort of dropped out of being friends 'cause she had a kid.
That sounds almost funny, but its a world that I know not a lot about to take in...I mean yeah I am pregnant and will be a mom in like 2 1/2 months, but even with all the babysitting and daycare I did...... I was not a mom...
So there is this label that is put on you when you chose to be single, or childless. Some people are childless because they cannot have children. Then the decision on living a life with out children is their choice or adoption. But that is entirely different. You get the pity party "oh I am sorry" bit from people and the "we're praying for Gods will for you" bit.
But when making a conscious decision to be single or childless. Funny what society makes of you... Its like you are blacklisted..completely. You are not asked to babysit your friends kids. go to recitals and events at their kids school and sometime just not be friends with them anymore because what could you possible have to offer in on the conversation or their life since you are not a mom... Yet funny how much fun we had before their kid showed up and what we had in common...just being married and silly. I use to go to this church before I got married..(Dan and I were living together but not married) and people would ask me if I was married and when I said "no" ( I would never tell them I was living with my boyfriend..for fear they would cast me out even more) they would say.."oh" and turn away.....Then when I DID get married but we chose not to have a family..and I was asked if I had any children.. and again I would reply "no" the women would look at me and turn away. Happens all the time. As this was never the case and so not normal.. See a stigma in peoples mind and completely labled by other women...
So she was all giddy when she found out I was pregnant and happy for us to know that we will have a life with a child.
Yeah....it really made me stop and think about my own future actions.
I have friends that do not have kids and I wonder if I will still be friends with them after my son Joey arrives? I really like these women that I know that are not moms and I wonder if I will become one of THOSE women who only want to be around other moms and kids. Ummm I know there is this common bond that you have with others, but there is also the bond that I still have with the others of just something like womanhood that I really don't want to give up.
Hey I am sooo excited about being "Joey's mom" and may forever in my life be labled as that..in fact there is a woman at work who now greets me as that. I dig it. And I am ready for that too, but do I want to give up more people who are friends with me and who have touched my life with stories and laughter and sisterhood, just because they don't have kids?
I have prayed that the Lord will not take that away from me. these women or friendships that I have made. I want to go to their house and watch the fun TV shows we talk about all the time together and laugh about our husbands and share storries of family... It's just as nice, but dropping someone because they are no longer on the "mom level" you are on is silly.
I can't say it will or will not happen with me. I am excited for my new journey that I am being put on..but I also have the blossoms from THIS life that still need nurturing. We have no idea how important these people are... and what we can learn from the... the common bond may not be motherhood, but it could be womanhood....
I'll be over for that glass of wine soon.....
That sounds almost funny, but its a world that I know not a lot about to take in...I mean yeah I am pregnant and will be a mom in like 2 1/2 months, but even with all the babysitting and daycare I did...... I was not a mom...
So there is this label that is put on you when you chose to be single, or childless. Some people are childless because they cannot have children. Then the decision on living a life with out children is their choice or adoption. But that is entirely different. You get the pity party "oh I am sorry" bit from people and the "we're praying for Gods will for you" bit.
But when making a conscious decision to be single or childless. Funny what society makes of you... Its like you are blacklisted..completely. You are not asked to babysit your friends kids. go to recitals and events at their kids school and sometime just not be friends with them anymore because what could you possible have to offer in on the conversation or their life since you are not a mom... Yet funny how much fun we had before their kid showed up and what we had in common...just being married and silly. I use to go to this church before I got married..(Dan and I were living together but not married) and people would ask me if I was married and when I said "no" ( I would never tell them I was living with my boyfriend..for fear they would cast me out even more) they would say.."oh" and turn away.....Then when I DID get married but we chose not to have a family..and I was asked if I had any children.. and again I would reply "no" the women would look at me and turn away. Happens all the time. As this was never the case and so not normal.. See a stigma in peoples mind and completely labled by other women...
So she was all giddy when she found out I was pregnant and happy for us to know that we will have a life with a child.
Yeah....it really made me stop and think about my own future actions.
I have friends that do not have kids and I wonder if I will still be friends with them after my son Joey arrives? I really like these women that I know that are not moms and I wonder if I will become one of THOSE women who only want to be around other moms and kids. Ummm I know there is this common bond that you have with others, but there is also the bond that I still have with the others of just something like womanhood that I really don't want to give up.
Hey I am sooo excited about being "Joey's mom" and may forever in my life be labled as that..in fact there is a woman at work who now greets me as that. I dig it. And I am ready for that too, but do I want to give up more people who are friends with me and who have touched my life with stories and laughter and sisterhood, just because they don't have kids?
I have prayed that the Lord will not take that away from me. these women or friendships that I have made. I want to go to their house and watch the fun TV shows we talk about all the time together and laugh about our husbands and share storries of family... It's just as nice, but dropping someone because they are no longer on the "mom level" you are on is silly.
I can't say it will or will not happen with me. I am excited for my new journey that I am being put on..but I also have the blossoms from THIS life that still need nurturing. We have no idea how important these people are... and what we can learn from the... the common bond may not be motherhood, but it could be womanhood....
I'll be over for that glass of wine soon.....
Friday, December 11, 2009
Kinda Liked It....
So as written before I have been sick with a chest cold. My stint in the ER and home to rest for a day. Then off to work I went. I came home from work and felt like I was gonna die (not really).
I had the next day off from work but had to work the day after. I called in for that day and have been in bed for three days sleeping resting and recovering. Taking what little useless medicine I can take with out harming my little man inside me.
My sister went to the store for me and brought me some yummy Popsicles...which I have been addicted to and orange juice and some other stuff. I can stomach the cold but not the hot so tea and honey does nothing for me. My husband has been working but he really is the best caretaker I could have. He just knows what to do and what to say and when to answer. He makes me feel so much better...(is that strange after 7 years of marriage?)
Miles has been next to me the entire time and wont leave my side. Since Dan has been at work I have had to muster up a bit of energy in the morning to take him for his little walk. Luckily it's been hot and humid and Miles does not like that weather so the walks have not been that long, but by my side in bed he has rested too. When I reach over and scratch his coat, he loves it and so do I. He too has been my best medicine. Miles just goes with the flow and does what he needs to do...which is be with me.
Not sure how it happened but by getting sick it has really put me in a zone of rest. I cant really say relaxation because I have felt so shitty. But I have stayed in the house. If I was not on the couch finishing up a puzzle I was in bed, sleeping. When I am sick there really is not much I want to do. I cant find the stamina to turn the computer on, or even watch TV. It bugs me. I cant read a book cause I just don't feel like it and all I want to do is lay there. Dan knows I must not be feeling well when the TV is not on. It's fine too. Daytime TV sucks...
My point in all this is. I have really enjoyed this illness. I know it's hard to wrap your head around but it's true. I have had to be careful in what medicines I take, I have wanted to just stay in the house....which is very unlike me. (I am an on the go chick and lets get it done woman) and I have not felt the need to get out in the world and change it. I just want to be at home. Is there an underlying message here.
I think I am settling myself into life in home for a bit when baby comes. I know there will be people around and stuff, but I have liked the lapse of urge to get out there and live. I like the thought of just living in.
All I can say is I am happy that we have not started to put the baby's room together. i would have bypassed the sleep and rest and finished it in 24 hours. This is what I do and how I roll. I am glad that the only attention I have had to give baby is that of him kicking and punching me constantly inside me. I have loved putting the remote on my belly and watching him kick it off. I like feeling his kicks and punches and falling more and more in love with my little two and a half pound "parasite" as my Dr. calls it.
Being sick normally sucks in all directions, but this time...I Kinda Liked It.
I had the next day off from work but had to work the day after. I called in for that day and have been in bed for three days sleeping resting and recovering. Taking what little useless medicine I can take with out harming my little man inside me.
My sister went to the store for me and brought me some yummy Popsicles...which I have been addicted to and orange juice and some other stuff. I can stomach the cold but not the hot so tea and honey does nothing for me. My husband has been working but he really is the best caretaker I could have. He just knows what to do and what to say and when to answer. He makes me feel so much better...(is that strange after 7 years of marriage?)
Miles has been next to me the entire time and wont leave my side. Since Dan has been at work I have had to muster up a bit of energy in the morning to take him for his little walk. Luckily it's been hot and humid and Miles does not like that weather so the walks have not been that long, but by my side in bed he has rested too. When I reach over and scratch his coat, he loves it and so do I. He too has been my best medicine. Miles just goes with the flow and does what he needs to do...which is be with me.
Not sure how it happened but by getting sick it has really put me in a zone of rest. I cant really say relaxation because I have felt so shitty. But I have stayed in the house. If I was not on the couch finishing up a puzzle I was in bed, sleeping. When I am sick there really is not much I want to do. I cant find the stamina to turn the computer on, or even watch TV. It bugs me. I cant read a book cause I just don't feel like it and all I want to do is lay there. Dan knows I must not be feeling well when the TV is not on. It's fine too. Daytime TV sucks...
My point in all this is. I have really enjoyed this illness. I know it's hard to wrap your head around but it's true. I have had to be careful in what medicines I take, I have wanted to just stay in the house....which is very unlike me. (I am an on the go chick and lets get it done woman) and I have not felt the need to get out in the world and change it. I just want to be at home. Is there an underlying message here.
I think I am settling myself into life in home for a bit when baby comes. I know there will be people around and stuff, but I have liked the lapse of urge to get out there and live. I like the thought of just living in.
All I can say is I am happy that we have not started to put the baby's room together. i would have bypassed the sleep and rest and finished it in 24 hours. This is what I do and how I roll. I am glad that the only attention I have had to give baby is that of him kicking and punching me constantly inside me. I have loved putting the remote on my belly and watching him kick it off. I like feeling his kicks and punches and falling more and more in love with my little two and a half pound "parasite" as my Dr. calls it.
Being sick normally sucks in all directions, but this time...I Kinda Liked It.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Our Own Rockefeller Center
A few days before Thanksgiving Dan and I made our annual trip to the "Festival Of Lights" on 3rd street South. We just call it the Lighting of the Christmas Tree.
3rd St.S. is a block of street that has high end shops and restaurants. A few times a year they host fun evenings. Block off the street and have entertainment, street vendors and bands and more. We go every once in a while to see a friend from the hotel play in his band... but usually before Thanksgiving, is the lighting of the Christmas tree in the corner of 12th ave S and 3rd st.
So we go. It's fun and they even set up the street light with fake snow. It will snow around 6:30pm after Santa comes down the street to light the tree outside of 'Tony's on Third'. The snow is actually soap, so the street gets slippery, but the kids LOVE it and it's fun. Santa is brilliant. The mayor of Naples and the Police Captain head the parade which is a block long and they stop at the tree. Santa then gets out of his horse and carriage and lights the tree. The news is there and lots of people.
This year Dan and I planned really well. We got a great parking spot 'cause we headed down much earlier this year. Like at 4pm. things really don't start until 6. But we coped two stools at our favorite restaurant on 3rd. 'The Old Naples Pub' had a few apps and headed out the door in search for Dan's friend who were working the event. Some of the Naples police Officers. These are guys that Dan has known for years and we always see them. It was early enough that we got to spend quite some time talking and catching up. These are great guys and because we don't see them but once a year it is always great to catch up. We walked up and down the street watching all the shows, listening to the bands and found two random chairs on the sidewalk outside the art gallery and ate some kettle corn while watching Santa come down the street and light the big tree. we met up with some friends and walked more. Ended the evening with 'Lenny's Italian Ice' and good laughs. We had a great time....
One thing I noticed was the weather. It was warn. Most times this has been going on it has been cold and kept people away. This year it was SO warm. I was happy for that Italian Ice because it cooled me down, but due to the weather I could not believe the amount of people there. I have never seen that many people at the tree lighting. It seemed funny because we were there so early and then it was like all of a sudden BOOM thousands of people. Incredible. We are not crowd folk but had to muddle our way through it and did so.
It was a great night and cannot wait to bring Joey next year to see all the fun stuff that goes on right down the street from where we live. It's not Rockefeller Center Tree or concerts, but everyone involved does a great job at putting the Christmas spirit in the air. It did feel a lot like being in the middle of New York City with all the people there, but the tree looked perfect this year and the soap snow was wonderful. Santa was so real and the vendors get bigger and bigger each year.
The lighting of the Christmas Tree in downtown Naples has become a tradition for me and Dan. It is our own Rockefeller Center...
Worth Every Minute....
The other night I was not feeling good...It started when I woke up in the morning and just escalated as the day went on. About nine thirty when I headed to bed I could not breath well.
I got out of bed and headed to the couch. I propped myself up and was able to sleep for a short time and then the coughing and gasping started.
I have had this feeling before when I had pneumonia years ago. Tight chest and just cannot breath. Each time I would cough the cough would get harder and harder and I would cough up mucus...I was not going there with this one. But I just could not get a good breath...
Yes, when you are pregnant your body changes so fast and so much happens it's hard to keep up. Your internal organs get all pushed aside from the growth of the baby and the ever expanding uterus. I get that, I can no longer sleep on my back because of compression on my lungs, I know how that feels, This was a little different. In fact it was entirely different. There was not a breath to be had that did not require a struggle.
At about one in the morning Dan came out to the couch and said.."what do you want to do honey?' and I told him I think we need to go to the emergency room. And we were slow moving but we did. Not only did I not feel good about the way I was breathing, but I did not feel good about pulling my husband out of sleep to take me to the hospital....
So we opted for NCH downtown emergency room... I do not like NCH and would rather go to Physicians Regional, but IF they needed to be invasive with treating me then they would send me to North Collier since that hospital has a NICU...so downtown we headed. Really a short drive...about five minutes..MAYBE.
Anyway...long story shorter...if I can....It took forever even with us being like the only people in the emergency room, but I had an xray to check out my lungs...and yes they had me wear a lead apron to shield the baby. Dan and I fell asleep in the hospital bed and the PA came in finally to tell me that there is nothing that can be done for the beginning stages of an upper respiratory infection. Rest, liquid and that's about it. Because everything else could send me into preterm labor...Crap...I still could not breath well, but this is what happens. So we did the right thing 'cause the other day at work the nurse took my blood pressure, and said my pressure was fine but heart rate was a little high...(well the Ritz can do that to you) but my book tells me if my heart rate is high then go to the emergency room or doctor....so my oxygen was low too...the signs were there...but nothing could be done....
Well before we were discharged the nurse Tammy who took care of me and another nurse Eric came in to check the Baby with an ultrasound machine. They had a little monitor and Doppler and told us they just wanted to check the heart rate of the baby. I was elated at four int he morning to see my little man. He was kicking me and I could not only feel him but see him. He was sucking his had and sucking his toes and moving around so much. The nurses were having a great time...
"This is free" they kept saying. "we are not charging you...we just want to make sure all is okay and we are having a good time...it's fun for us, Hope you don't mind?"
"Are you kidding. My next OB apappointment is next week and I was hoping to see my son, but it's just a quick check up. I wont see him 'til maybe January. This is a pleasure."
"This is like Christmas for us." Dan said with amazement and a smile.
We left there at something like 4am. I was a little disappointed that nothing could be done but a little relieved in the sense that it was something than pregnancy... but more over we saw our BIG little man inside me. He is HUGE, for 27 weeks. Incredible for 2 pounds and something like 12-14 inches....I was shocked and happy and joyful and tired...sooo tired. But he was there and okay and tucked in just fine playing around in my belly like he does all the time.
I have been in bed for a few days fighting this thing and luckily no fever at all. It sucked going to the hospital so late and missing sleep and waiting forever and dishing out the co-pay at 4am, but when the two nurses has fun checking our son in my belly and we got to see him happy and moving, heart rate perfect and doing all he is suppose to be doing...getting home by 4:30am was worth every minute.
I got out of bed and headed to the couch. I propped myself up and was able to sleep for a short time and then the coughing and gasping started.
I have had this feeling before when I had pneumonia years ago. Tight chest and just cannot breath. Each time I would cough the cough would get harder and harder and I would cough up mucus...I was not going there with this one. But I just could not get a good breath...
Yes, when you are pregnant your body changes so fast and so much happens it's hard to keep up. Your internal organs get all pushed aside from the growth of the baby and the ever expanding uterus. I get that, I can no longer sleep on my back because of compression on my lungs, I know how that feels, This was a little different. In fact it was entirely different. There was not a breath to be had that did not require a struggle.
At about one in the morning Dan came out to the couch and said.."what do you want to do honey?' and I told him I think we need to go to the emergency room. And we were slow moving but we did. Not only did I not feel good about the way I was breathing, but I did not feel good about pulling my husband out of sleep to take me to the hospital....
So we opted for NCH downtown emergency room... I do not like NCH and would rather go to Physicians Regional, but IF they needed to be invasive with treating me then they would send me to North Collier since that hospital has a NICU...so downtown we headed. Really a short drive...about five minutes..MAYBE.
Anyway...long story shorter...if I can....It took forever even with us being like the only people in the emergency room, but I had an xray to check out my lungs...and yes they had me wear a lead apron to shield the baby. Dan and I fell asleep in the hospital bed and the PA came in finally to tell me that there is nothing that can be done for the beginning stages of an upper respiratory infection. Rest, liquid and that's about it. Because everything else could send me into preterm labor...Crap...I still could not breath well, but this is what happens. So we did the right thing 'cause the other day at work the nurse took my blood pressure, and said my pressure was fine but heart rate was a little high...(well the Ritz can do that to you) but my book tells me if my heart rate is high then go to the emergency room or doctor....so my oxygen was low too...the signs were there...but nothing could be done....
Well before we were discharged the nurse Tammy who took care of me and another nurse Eric came in to check the Baby with an ultrasound machine. They had a little monitor and Doppler and told us they just wanted to check the heart rate of the baby. I was elated at four int he morning to see my little man. He was kicking me and I could not only feel him but see him. He was sucking his had and sucking his toes and moving around so much. The nurses were having a great time...
"This is free" they kept saying. "we are not charging you...we just want to make sure all is okay and we are having a good time...it's fun for us, Hope you don't mind?"
"Are you kidding. My next OB apappointment is next week and I was hoping to see my son, but it's just a quick check up. I wont see him 'til maybe January. This is a pleasure."
"This is like Christmas for us." Dan said with amazement and a smile.
We left there at something like 4am. I was a little disappointed that nothing could be done but a little relieved in the sense that it was something than pregnancy... but more over we saw our BIG little man inside me. He is HUGE, for 27 weeks. Incredible for 2 pounds and something like 12-14 inches....I was shocked and happy and joyful and tired...sooo tired. But he was there and okay and tucked in just fine playing around in my belly like he does all the time.
I have been in bed for a few days fighting this thing and luckily no fever at all. It sucked going to the hospital so late and missing sleep and waiting forever and dishing out the co-pay at 4am, but when the two nurses has fun checking our son in my belly and we got to see him happy and moving, heart rate perfect and doing all he is suppose to be doing...getting home by 4:30am was worth every minute.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
A Joyful Time of Year
We are now into the month of December and time is slipping by really fast. I cannot seem to keep up. I think I would feel the same way if I were not pregnant. Things are just spinning around me and it's all very fast.
Someone asked me if I would like time to hurry up because of the baby.. I said "no". time is going perfectly fine. I seem to like the pace. although i hope I get the chance to get the Christmas Cards out...hmmm next thing i know it's our anniversary...(7 years) and then a week later it's Christmas and then New Years. Is this how fast things have been going. I still think it is august... but with out the heat...
Love December. There is just such a great buzz in the air. It's the lights and the music and the parties and the red and green and the rest of the festivities. Dan and I wanted to get married in December because we both love this month. We are Christmas junkies, although we don;t go Griswold crazy, it's just a beautiful time of year. I cant say that the people of Naples find it in their hearts to have the Christmas spirit and display the "Peace on Earth Good will toward men" attitude. They Don't. Naples is a very selfish place to live. It is rich or seasonal and if you work in a seasonal position for a job, you are selfish. It's all about you and money and making as much as possible so get out of my way.....if you are rich, you just have a "holier than thou attitude". I know there are many of you who agree, you see it everyday. Line in the post office, at CVS, at the Bagel Shop and more and somewhere in that line about ten of the twelve people are complaining that there are not enough service agents and stuff. RECESSION... CUT BACKS... HELLO...
Just how it is down here. What else. This is the Holiday season. The season of the holiday spirit. Hanukkah and Christmas, two very important religious holidays. Love them both, but Love Christmas Eve the most.
It's not a year for us to go hog wild and fully decorate our home this year. We are taking it easy. Dan calls it .."The Williams Touch of Christmas" and we will leave it at that. No tree will adorn the house this year. We are focused on something else... OH BABY.... due to arrive in in early march or late Feb. so we are just trying to get ready for our little Joey. We have some decorations up and it's enough because we know that next year for Joey's first Christmas, we will go all out. Have to ...it's just the way it's done... so for now..we are taking it easy, trying to keep up with the rapidly passing month and loving each other to the best we can.
Ahh December...the conclusion to the year... but a joyful time of year....
Someone asked me if I would like time to hurry up because of the baby.. I said "no". time is going perfectly fine. I seem to like the pace. although i hope I get the chance to get the Christmas Cards out...hmmm next thing i know it's our anniversary...(7 years) and then a week later it's Christmas and then New Years. Is this how fast things have been going. I still think it is august... but with out the heat...
Love December. There is just such a great buzz in the air. It's the lights and the music and the parties and the red and green and the rest of the festivities. Dan and I wanted to get married in December because we both love this month. We are Christmas junkies, although we don;t go Griswold crazy, it's just a beautiful time of year. I cant say that the people of Naples find it in their hearts to have the Christmas spirit and display the "Peace on Earth Good will toward men" attitude. They Don't. Naples is a very selfish place to live. It is rich or seasonal and if you work in a seasonal position for a job, you are selfish. It's all about you and money and making as much as possible so get out of my way.....if you are rich, you just have a "holier than thou attitude". I know there are many of you who agree, you see it everyday. Line in the post office, at CVS, at the Bagel Shop and more and somewhere in that line about ten of the twelve people are complaining that there are not enough service agents and stuff. RECESSION... CUT BACKS... HELLO...
Just how it is down here. What else. This is the Holiday season. The season of the holiday spirit. Hanukkah and Christmas, two very important religious holidays. Love them both, but Love Christmas Eve the most.
It's not a year for us to go hog wild and fully decorate our home this year. We are taking it easy. Dan calls it .."The Williams Touch of Christmas" and we will leave it at that. No tree will adorn the house this year. We are focused on something else... OH BABY.... due to arrive in in early march or late Feb. so we are just trying to get ready for our little Joey. We have some decorations up and it's enough because we know that next year for Joey's first Christmas, we will go all out. Have to ...it's just the way it's done... so for now..we are taking it easy, trying to keep up with the rapidly passing month and loving each other to the best we can.
Ahh December...the conclusion to the year... but a joyful time of year....
Thursday, November 19, 2009
I Could Not Have Asked For A Better Phone Call....
My mother phoned me last week to tell me to put the TV on and watch the Florida/South Carolina football game.
"Honey " she said, "this is gonna be a great game...Steve Spurrier who coaches for SC used to coach for UF and that Tim Tebow. These are two great teams playing and I have to go to church. So you kids watch it, I will call you when I get home and let me know how the game was.... Also the other game I just saw was...." and she went on and on about college football.
When I hung the phone up and I put the game on I sat there and my nose started to get stuffy and my eyes began to fill up. A tear had not yet fallen. Dan came in and said..."what game?"
I told him about mom's phone call and he too stopped in his tracks. "You mean mom called to tell you about this game and all the stats on the players and coaches and more?"
I nodded.
Dan's face lit up...
"Do you know what this means honey?" I said to him.
Dan bit his lip....and nodded back at me...
"She's watching college football again." I said fighting a tear back.
You have no idea what this means and my mother's road back to the college football circut.
When Dad passed away last Sept. there was no talk of football and a sound of a game in her house for months. Not until my uncle Jake came to stay with her in January. When he was there in her home he watched football and mom only felt comfortable watching it with him. She needed him around to sit and watch the game with her... She did cheer for the Steelers in the Super Bowl at our Super Bowl party last year. (dad was a very good friend of one of the coaches for the Steelers)
Since Daddy spent his adult life coaching football, college football was a little tradition in the Mayo home. Mom would come home from work on Saturdays and sit in her recliner next to dad in his recliner and they would watch the college games. She could tell you more about the players, the teams, the coaches, the universities, the offensive and defensive coaches and players and all the families tied into the organization. It was remarkable. Same with the pro teams too. She knew it all. But when dad passed wanting Alabama to will the title last year (UF won) she wanted no part of it.
So you have to see, when I got the call to watch the game and she went on and on about the teams, I was more dumbfounded than anything. I was elated. I was happy. I was sad. I was over joyed for her. She came a long way this year not having my father around.
And you have to look at it like this...having the sound of football on in her house is like hearing
Yo Yo Ma play with the London Philharmonic....Heavenly.
We watched the Florida/South Carolina game that day. I don't even like college football, and Dan really isn't a big fan of it either. But we did it that day, just because mom asked us to and because she was so happy with the game.
The book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible tell us... For everything there is a season. A time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to stop searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.
She's finding a time to plant and harvest. She is finding time to heal, to tear down and build
again. She is still cries but laughing so much more. She still grieves and she dances like an angels to the sound of a harp. She is scattering stones and collecting them, she can embrace even harder and can't seem to find many reasons to turn away. She continues to search ans in some cases stops searching. She has found plenty to throw away, and she can mend the tear, find quiet time, has lots to speak about and more and more to love each day. there is no time for war in her, not even a personal one and she can find peace in her day each and every day.
This phone call was a little bit of mom's time shinning through and I could not have asked for a better phone call.
"Honey " she said, "this is gonna be a great game...Steve Spurrier who coaches for SC used to coach for UF and that Tim Tebow. These are two great teams playing and I have to go to church. So you kids watch it, I will call you when I get home and let me know how the game was.... Also the other game I just saw was...." and she went on and on about college football.
When I hung the phone up and I put the game on I sat there and my nose started to get stuffy and my eyes began to fill up. A tear had not yet fallen. Dan came in and said..."what game?"
I told him about mom's phone call and he too stopped in his tracks. "You mean mom called to tell you about this game and all the stats on the players and coaches and more?"
I nodded.
Dan's face lit up...
"Do you know what this means honey?" I said to him.
Dan bit his lip....and nodded back at me...
"She's watching college football again." I said fighting a tear back.
You have no idea what this means and my mother's road back to the college football circut.
When Dad passed away last Sept. there was no talk of football and a sound of a game in her house for months. Not until my uncle Jake came to stay with her in January. When he was there in her home he watched football and mom only felt comfortable watching it with him. She needed him around to sit and watch the game with her... She did cheer for the Steelers in the Super Bowl at our Super Bowl party last year. (dad was a very good friend of one of the coaches for the Steelers)
Since Daddy spent his adult life coaching football, college football was a little tradition in the Mayo home. Mom would come home from work on Saturdays and sit in her recliner next to dad in his recliner and they would watch the college games. She could tell you more about the players, the teams, the coaches, the universities, the offensive and defensive coaches and players and all the families tied into the organization. It was remarkable. Same with the pro teams too. She knew it all. But when dad passed wanting Alabama to will the title last year (UF won) she wanted no part of it.
So you have to see, when I got the call to watch the game and she went on and on about the teams, I was more dumbfounded than anything. I was elated. I was happy. I was sad. I was over joyed for her. She came a long way this year not having my father around.
And you have to look at it like this...having the sound of football on in her house is like hearing
Yo Yo Ma play with the London Philharmonic....Heavenly.
We watched the Florida/South Carolina game that day. I don't even like college football, and Dan really isn't a big fan of it either. But we did it that day, just because mom asked us to and because she was so happy with the game.
The book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible tell us... For everything there is a season. A time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to stop searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.
She's finding a time to plant and harvest. She is finding time to heal, to tear down and build
again. She is still cries but laughing so much more. She still grieves and she dances like an angels to the sound of a harp. She is scattering stones and collecting them, she can embrace even harder and can't seem to find many reasons to turn away. She continues to search ans in some cases stops searching. She has found plenty to throw away, and she can mend the tear, find quiet time, has lots to speak about and more and more to love each day. there is no time for war in her, not even a personal one and she can find peace in her day each and every day.
This phone call was a little bit of mom's time shinning through and I could not have asked for a better phone call.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The Transformation
My husband said to me tonight that I do pregnant very well. I smiled and hugged him.
I have to say I think he is correct. I do not mean to gloat, but the pregnant walk that I am on has been a beautiful one. It has been extremely easy for me. I have no idea why I was chosen to have such an easy pregnancy, but so far so good. I am comfy and happy and seeing the hearts of the people I love come to love this unborn child is amazing. Last week my brother in law almost squealed when he saw my belly popping out. He was so excited. Even people at work. It's funny.
I think that if this pregnancy happened any time before this it most likely would not be the way it is now. But it's all the right time and I have to say, I am so glad this has happened now and not sooner and not later. This time in our marriage in my life seems to be the right time for our son to be born. We cannot be happier and Dan and I say every day to each other, how excited we are to meet our son Joey.
So according to the calender I am 23 weeks along in being pregnant. I have officially started my six month and this blows me away. I cannot believe it. ALREADY. So it's all moving so fast. There is so much to think about and what to do. Physically I am experiencing changes in my body that is so funny. The belly has popped and now I can rest my hands on it like a shelf. Just my hands, I cant eat a bowl of cereal off it yet, but I am sure that day will come soon. Getting comfy in bed is a challenge, but I cannot wipe the smile off my face. My heart is so happy, yet I cannot tolerate being around people. I have no tolerance for ignorant guests at the hotel. I cant stand incompetence, which I am faced with on a daily basis and people who do not do their job just should not have even bothered showing up for work. I cry at the drop of a dime at a TV commercial or a blow 'em up shoot 'em up movie and I have no ankles. My weight gain is great. I have only packed on 17 pounds since I found out I was pregnant. The funniest thing is though I have no craving right now. I have gone through the past few weeks with so much indecisiveness for food, that my poor husband just needs to call the shots on supper because I have no wan for anything.
Is this what it is suppose to be like? I mean I will eat? Sure, but when you ask what I would like....do me a favor and don't even ask. Nothing comes to mind.
The transformation is beginning....We have quite a bit more calender year left before our little boy arrives to our home. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and then our anniversary and then the Christmas holidays, new years and a bit more. The baby will have the spare bedroom as his haven. Tomorrow we will move the computer and printer into our room, and in a few weeks Dan's dad will be with us for a visit. We will then start working on the room once he leaves. You know the basic, blue walls, white trim, blue bedding, white crib. Boy stuff, Sports and Pirates and Dogs and stuff. I don't know. All I know is that I am sure the time will fly by and the next thing I know we will be walking into the hospital as husband and wife and a few hours later have a son. When we arrive home with him, Miles will greet us curiously and we will start our life as a family of four. Little by little, my closet is filling with baby stuff and baby clothes. People from work have given us so many things for the baby. Car seats, swings, clothes, toys, books, blankets all kinds of stuff, and I can't even think about what we need for him. The thought of interviewing the doctors is crazy...and so much more. Luckily I have been able to talk to a few people who have given me so much insight to how to approach things and what to think about. These women have just laid the foundation out for me and I can take or leave what they have said. Dan and I have to figure it all out on our own. It's kinda fun. We talk all the time about how we would like Joey to grow up and how we are looking to 'Parent" him and not "Befriend" him. (big difference).
With this transformation sometimes I get stuck. Sometimes I just cannot think about it and sometimes I just have to bury myself in a book or a puzzle to take me out of this journey. But as I said before, it's a walk that has been handed to me, to us with grace and love, unconditional love and each day I am thankful for the gift of little kicks and punches that I feel inside me...OOOO... Dan got to feel Joey kick the other night...he was so excited and naturally I cried, but to have this happen to us now....to transform us now...to be loved now....to love now...to be healed now....this is where it is all beginning for us, for me, for my family, and for my husband... It's all of our transformation, not just mine. I can't really sum it up either, it's just there and it's a good thing, this transformation.
I have to say I think he is correct. I do not mean to gloat, but the pregnant walk that I am on has been a beautiful one. It has been extremely easy for me. I have no idea why I was chosen to have such an easy pregnancy, but so far so good. I am comfy and happy and seeing the hearts of the people I love come to love this unborn child is amazing. Last week my brother in law almost squealed when he saw my belly popping out. He was so excited. Even people at work. It's funny.
I think that if this pregnancy happened any time before this it most likely would not be the way it is now. But it's all the right time and I have to say, I am so glad this has happened now and not sooner and not later. This time in our marriage in my life seems to be the right time for our son to be born. We cannot be happier and Dan and I say every day to each other, how excited we are to meet our son Joey.
So according to the calender I am 23 weeks along in being pregnant. I have officially started my six month and this blows me away. I cannot believe it. ALREADY. So it's all moving so fast. There is so much to think about and what to do. Physically I am experiencing changes in my body that is so funny. The belly has popped and now I can rest my hands on it like a shelf. Just my hands, I cant eat a bowl of cereal off it yet, but I am sure that day will come soon. Getting comfy in bed is a challenge, but I cannot wipe the smile off my face. My heart is so happy, yet I cannot tolerate being around people. I have no tolerance for ignorant guests at the hotel. I cant stand incompetence, which I am faced with on a daily basis and people who do not do their job just should not have even bothered showing up for work. I cry at the drop of a dime at a TV commercial or a blow 'em up shoot 'em up movie and I have no ankles. My weight gain is great. I have only packed on 17 pounds since I found out I was pregnant. The funniest thing is though I have no craving right now. I have gone through the past few weeks with so much indecisiveness for food, that my poor husband just needs to call the shots on supper because I have no wan for anything.
Is this what it is suppose to be like? I mean I will eat? Sure, but when you ask what I would like....do me a favor and don't even ask. Nothing comes to mind.
The transformation is beginning....We have quite a bit more calender year left before our little boy arrives to our home. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and then our anniversary and then the Christmas holidays, new years and a bit more. The baby will have the spare bedroom as his haven. Tomorrow we will move the computer and printer into our room, and in a few weeks Dan's dad will be with us for a visit. We will then start working on the room once he leaves. You know the basic, blue walls, white trim, blue bedding, white crib. Boy stuff, Sports and Pirates and Dogs and stuff. I don't know. All I know is that I am sure the time will fly by and the next thing I know we will be walking into the hospital as husband and wife and a few hours later have a son. When we arrive home with him, Miles will greet us curiously and we will start our life as a family of four. Little by little, my closet is filling with baby stuff and baby clothes. People from work have given us so many things for the baby. Car seats, swings, clothes, toys, books, blankets all kinds of stuff, and I can't even think about what we need for him. The thought of interviewing the doctors is crazy...and so much more. Luckily I have been able to talk to a few people who have given me so much insight to how to approach things and what to think about. These women have just laid the foundation out for me and I can take or leave what they have said. Dan and I have to figure it all out on our own. It's kinda fun. We talk all the time about how we would like Joey to grow up and how we are looking to 'Parent" him and not "Befriend" him. (big difference).
With this transformation sometimes I get stuck. Sometimes I just cannot think about it and sometimes I just have to bury myself in a book or a puzzle to take me out of this journey. But as I said before, it's a walk that has been handed to me, to us with grace and love, unconditional love and each day I am thankful for the gift of little kicks and punches that I feel inside me...OOOO... Dan got to feel Joey kick the other night...he was so excited and naturally I cried, but to have this happen to us now....to transform us now...to be loved now....to love now...to be healed now....this is where it is all beginning for us, for me, for my family, and for my husband... It's all of our transformation, not just mine. I can't really sum it up either, it's just there and it's a good thing, this transformation.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Still Lives On....
I tried to get this up yesterday. i thought it would be a great way to conclude the month of October...since it did happen on October 31st, but I just did not have time....
So here I am November 1st..wondering how has time gone by so fast.....
Yesterday was a bit of a special day for the Mayo Family. My mother, sister, brother- in-law and myself...(husband was working unfortunately) all met at Witerberry Sports Field in Marco Island. The last game of the Marco Island Eagles Football Season. This was special to us for many reasons...the last bit of my father's coaching career was spent with this young organization. He helped some of the coaches become one and coach the kids of Marco Island on how to play football. Marco was a little behind the times when it came to a youth league. Naples had strongly developed themselves into many "pop-warner" teams and Marco had nothing....
Really, when I moved there sixteen years ago for the fist time, Marco Island really was nothing but old people. Few families and even the YMCA had little programs for kids. The elementary school had one first grade, one second grade, one third grade, and so on. Now things have changed. There are families and children all over the place and the small 4x6 island has developed nicely into a family community. The importance of these youth programs is rising and the members of the community have finally seen the need for them. It's a great way to keep the families of Marco Island together and on the Island. It's turned into a good thing.
So my father's involvement in The Marco Eagle Youth Football Program had basically meant good things for my dad. First it kept him on the Island. And if any of you who read this knew my father and the way he drove and the CAR that he drove, well then you would understand....when he became involved with Barron Collier High School freshman team, mom would cringe each day he would get in the car and drive up to North Naples to the high school. Long drive... So having him a few miles from home was always a good thing. Dad was a born coach too. He LOVED it. It was because of World War II that he became a football coach. Dad had a bright and promising career in the football world as a player in high school, college and most likely a professional league, but he sustained such serious injuries in the war that he could never play football again. Like many he did not give up, he studied the game and turned to coaching. (one thing to keep in mind is that dad was also a fan of all athletics...not just football...athletics itself was regimented, team spirited and brought out the best....just like the military which he also loved.) So he became a coach. From high school coaching to college coaching to professional coaching and scouting and much more, the Marco eagles brought him full circle, literally, for Dad started the first youth football league in the Boston area and now he had ended his career with a youth football league in Marco Island. Funny how these circles in our lives work....
The coaching staff of the Marco Eagles, called my mom and asked her if she would like to come to the field on Saturday Oct 31st and watch some of the kids play and wrap up their season. they also asked her to stay because they were dedicating the new athletic field as well as giving out the First Annual Coach Joe Mayo Award. The great part of it was...it was all such short notice, but my sister, mom and I all had the day off so we could be there. Very Special.
Mom and I were there a bit early and watched some of the little kids play their final game of the season, then it came to field dedication and then the presentation of the Coach Joe Mayo Award.
The head of the Coaching staff told a beautiful story about my dad and I was so touched. The award was given to a great young man who is in charge of the Parks and Recreation Dept. and also a coach with the Eagles. He played an integral part in getting the athletic field up and working and in better condition...what he did really...was give the kids of Marco Island a future.
Mom was to say a little something about dad, but she handed the microphone over to me and I spoke about how much he loved football. But I really spoke about how much heart each player and coach needs. That dad really believed in working together and not winning or losing, but having heart for the game and each other...in ALL sports and ways of life. I also told them that he was always after the perfect team and the perfect coaching staff....it may have taken him 60 plus years, but he found it right there in Marco Island... the small island in south west Florida proved so much happiness for my father at the end of his life. The men that he coached with, the kids that played under him, the mentor he became to all.. It was so nice for us to be there, and to see that although a year has passed in Sept.Daddy's legacy still lives on....
Thursday, October 22, 2009
We Are Gonna Have A Boy....
I have a friend of mine who has a good blog. She posts most stuff on there about her kids. She is so ready to have another... but the last blog I read of hers she was writing about loving her unborn child so much... basically, the..."How can I love something so much that I have never met?" bit.
Now I understand, although I have not REALLY felt my baby move inside me...(little punches here and there..and the book says 22 weeks I will really start feeling stuff..) I have seen my baby with the help of ultra sounds. I have heard the heart beat which puts my mind to so much ease, and I have even watched the baby eat from inside me...I am not one for the fancy- shmancy high tech ultra sounds, the blurry one at the Dr.s office is just fine...but it was the last visit I had there that really sealed the deal for me.
I am currently 20 weeks pregnant..at the moment..if you want to get technical bordering 21 weeks...(my due date seems to change each visit) BUT....the nuts thing is I am HALF way through the job I am doing. Soon eviction time will be coming for this baby and it's new home will be in my arms and Dan's arms. this will be great.
During your 20 week visit to the OBGYN...a lot has happened to the baby since your last visit..but mostly this visit is your half way point. So I have made it 20 weeks through and I have 20 more weeks until baby comes. That is scary really. Although it was a long hot summer, it seems that we just found out and it seems impossible that 20 weeks has passed so soon. But they can also tell you the sex of the baby is you choose to know. Within 20 weeks the baby's sexual organs have developed well enough for the ultrasound to say..."Think Pink or Go Blue."
In our case, we had all but only a few people tell us I was having a girl. We were ready to have Bonnie at the Dr.'s tell us that we are having a girl...With a conversation of a friend at work during lunch one day...she said to me that is I keep getting my hopes up for a girl, what if I am told it's a boy and how disappointed I will be...Dan too, cause he really wanted a girl. I thought long and hard on her statement and started to focus on who do I know that has boys and who did I take care of that had boys.....
My babysitting really consisted of girls, and if there was a boy it was random...It just happened that way too. But then I thought of Reed McLeod. Curt and Becky's son. Thier second child. They were so excited for a boy after having Lindsey...(let's face it she was a tough baby), but it seemed that the moment Reed was born and brought home, a calm came into the house. He sought peace and it was there. He loved their dog too.Reed and Rossi were the best of friends. I think somewhere I have a photo of Reed and Rossi asleep together. When it came time to put Rossi down, Reed held her to her last breath.. Rossi went to doggie heaven in the arms of her best friend Reed. I also took care of Carson, of Jessica and Carson. Carson has two sisters and was all boy. Although he and Jessica shared a room, he was the rough and tough and tumbley guy. Carson started tackle football when I started to care for them. Jessica was a cheerleader and Carson played football. I spent my time at the football field at practices and Saturday games watching Carson. I could look over my shoulder and see Jess practice with her team, but watching Carson was so fun. Dan and my folks would come to practice and games to watch the football. I remember mom saying to me.."it's nice to have a boy and do these things." she was right. We just had a good time when it was Carson and I at home before Jess came home. It's a different dynamic and I thought hard about it and told Dan how I was feeling if Bonnie tells us we will have a son.... He agreed too...and you know what...
Bonnie told us we were having a son.
At that moment, a sudden peace came over me. My heart filled instantly with love for this little boy that is growing inside me. Dan could not believe his excitement either. He is so proud of the fact that we have been given a son. I shared with him ho unworthy I felt too to be carrying a boy. It would be different if it was a daughter, but a boy. Our thought process has gone from pink to blue really fast and all seems right.
We are naming our boy Joseph Scott Williams... we will call him Joey or Joe, whichever... Joseph was my father's name. Dan loved my dad for the time he knew him. He would spend time with my dad and hang on every word that he would say. Dan said right from the beginning too,"If we have a boy, I want him to be named after your father. I loved your father and I think it should be this way." Naturally I agreed. Scott is Dan's middle name and he wanted to carry that on...
So we are set. Joey Williams will bless this little family of three to make four, sometime between March 3-11 of 2010. Although my mind is racing and spinning of everything we need and have to do. I stop and think...It's all good. I have heaps of time and a lot of help and tons of love.
WE ARE GONNA HAVE A BOY......
Now I understand, although I have not REALLY felt my baby move inside me...(little punches here and there..and the book says 22 weeks I will really start feeling stuff..) I have seen my baby with the help of ultra sounds. I have heard the heart beat which puts my mind to so much ease, and I have even watched the baby eat from inside me...I am not one for the fancy- shmancy high tech ultra sounds, the blurry one at the Dr.s office is just fine...but it was the last visit I had there that really sealed the deal for me.
I am currently 20 weeks pregnant..at the moment..if you want to get technical bordering 21 weeks...(my due date seems to change each visit) BUT....the nuts thing is I am HALF way through the job I am doing. Soon eviction time will be coming for this baby and it's new home will be in my arms and Dan's arms. this will be great.
During your 20 week visit to the OBGYN...a lot has happened to the baby since your last visit..but mostly this visit is your half way point. So I have made it 20 weeks through and I have 20 more weeks until baby comes. That is scary really. Although it was a long hot summer, it seems that we just found out and it seems impossible that 20 weeks has passed so soon. But they can also tell you the sex of the baby is you choose to know. Within 20 weeks the baby's sexual organs have developed well enough for the ultrasound to say..."Think Pink or Go Blue."
In our case, we had all but only a few people tell us I was having a girl. We were ready to have Bonnie at the Dr.'s tell us that we are having a girl...With a conversation of a friend at work during lunch one day...she said to me that is I keep getting my hopes up for a girl, what if I am told it's a boy and how disappointed I will be...Dan too, cause he really wanted a girl. I thought long and hard on her statement and started to focus on who do I know that has boys and who did I take care of that had boys.....
My babysitting really consisted of girls, and if there was a boy it was random...It just happened that way too. But then I thought of Reed McLeod. Curt and Becky's son. Thier second child. They were so excited for a boy after having Lindsey...(let's face it she was a tough baby), but it seemed that the moment Reed was born and brought home, a calm came into the house. He sought peace and it was there. He loved their dog too.Reed and Rossi were the best of friends. I think somewhere I have a photo of Reed and Rossi asleep together. When it came time to put Rossi down, Reed held her to her last breath.. Rossi went to doggie heaven in the arms of her best friend Reed. I also took care of Carson, of Jessica and Carson. Carson has two sisters and was all boy. Although he and Jessica shared a room, he was the rough and tough and tumbley guy. Carson started tackle football when I started to care for them. Jessica was a cheerleader and Carson played football. I spent my time at the football field at practices and Saturday games watching Carson. I could look over my shoulder and see Jess practice with her team, but watching Carson was so fun. Dan and my folks would come to practice and games to watch the football. I remember mom saying to me.."it's nice to have a boy and do these things." she was right. We just had a good time when it was Carson and I at home before Jess came home. It's a different dynamic and I thought hard about it and told Dan how I was feeling if Bonnie tells us we will have a son.... He agreed too...and you know what...
Bonnie told us we were having a son.
At that moment, a sudden peace came over me. My heart filled instantly with love for this little boy that is growing inside me. Dan could not believe his excitement either. He is so proud of the fact that we have been given a son. I shared with him ho unworthy I felt too to be carrying a boy. It would be different if it was a daughter, but a boy. Our thought process has gone from pink to blue really fast and all seems right.
We are naming our boy Joseph Scott Williams... we will call him Joey or Joe, whichever... Joseph was my father's name. Dan loved my dad for the time he knew him. He would spend time with my dad and hang on every word that he would say. Dan said right from the beginning too,"If we have a boy, I want him to be named after your father. I loved your father and I think it should be this way." Naturally I agreed. Scott is Dan's middle name and he wanted to carry that on...
So we are set. Joey Williams will bless this little family of three to make four, sometime between March 3-11 of 2010. Although my mind is racing and spinning of everything we need and have to do. I stop and think...It's all good. I have heaps of time and a lot of help and tons of love.
WE ARE GONNA HAVE A BOY......
Thursday, October 15, 2009
We Do Thank Them...
Have you ever seen the t.v. show "Run's House".. It's on MTV...it's an eight or ten episode show. it focuses on Reverend Joe Simmons from the rap group RUN DMC and his family. His wife and six children. They range between the ages of 22 and 1 year.
It's a great show..I know a lot of you out there cannot even think that MTV could provide and produce a clean and wholesome show but they have. Joe Simmons or "Rev" as he is now called. (Since he was ordained a Reverend) is the head of the family. He and his dry humored wife raise the six kids in a home full of love and the Lord. Each episode has a message of faith. It really is a great testament to who this man has become and how he has chosen to raise his family. It really is a great show....
My husband has a nickname at work...."Rev" also. I am really not to sure how this came about but I think it was one guy who started it and it stuck. now many others call him that too. Not because Dan is like Joe Simmons, but because Dan has a wonderful relationship with God and others know it. They seek him for advice and consul. My husband will sit calmly and listen to someones problems. He is an amazing listener when he needs to be. He hears just what they are saying and he allows himself to feel what hey are feeling...so you know he is hearing them. In some ways Dan is walking with a person through their troubles so he can understand just what is happening inside them. Before Dan begins to minister to a person, he takes a deep breath to be sure he has understood why this person has come to him. Then he will start. Sometimes he shares with me the conversations and sometimes he does not. Dan does not advise someone on something he does not know...he does not use the "I would like to think...." method that so many people use when it comes to Godly consul. He will only tell you what he knows. But he lets God carry the message through him. Sometimes he will share with me the things he said and my mouth drops as he agrees with me, when I say 'How did you come up with that'.. his simple reply was..."it's not me, it's God." understandable.
A few weeks ago there was a terrible tragedy that happened here in Naples. A father slain his entire family. His wife and five young children... there is a lot more to the story, but beyond that, there were many people effected by this terrible act. For the father and the brother of the man work at our hotel. Many people at the hotel knew the family and the children. The day after the event. Dan came home from work and he had the heaviest heart I had seen on him for some time. He told me that he spent a good part of the day talking to many people who had connections with this angry man. The man's own father even approached Dan for encouragement and words. To ask for prayer.
This happens a lot to Dan. When you look at my husband you would never think that he has a christian heart.. Our society labels people right from the beginning... (You do it and I do it and you cannot say that you don't) It's the looks are always the first impressions and it stands there. We cant help it but it happens at the hotel. If you look nice and are dressed nice you must have class and money..not always the case.
He told me the other day of a good friend of ours that he was just talking to. I was astonished that even this person had come to him, never mind opened up to him seeking something from him.Dan listened and laid it down. People walk away from people like my husband with an idea, with a curiosity and with a hope...they act on them later by seeking and reading and finding and asking and knocking... their door begins to open and the light of the world shines through for them.
My husband does not need to shove anything down anyone throat... that is not his style unless you make him. He just quietly ministers to how God allows him to. People look down on us because we don't have a home church...for it's only in a church that the work of the Lord can be done...but Dan's church is far larger than the walls of a building with a cross attached to it somewhere...it's the people that he hears and speaks to... Dan never asked to be the leader of his ministry..in fact I could take an educated guess and say he most likely never asked for a ministry..but without even knowing it he has it and he does it. He learns so much from each person that he talks to.
I am so proud of him. His life...Our life has been touched by these people...they always thank him for his words or actions but it is them who need to be thanked by us...by him or by me...and I can tell you, we do thank them.
It's a great show..I know a lot of you out there cannot even think that MTV could provide and produce a clean and wholesome show but they have. Joe Simmons or "Rev" as he is now called. (Since he was ordained a Reverend) is the head of the family. He and his dry humored wife raise the six kids in a home full of love and the Lord. Each episode has a message of faith. It really is a great testament to who this man has become and how he has chosen to raise his family. It really is a great show....
My husband has a nickname at work...."Rev" also. I am really not to sure how this came about but I think it was one guy who started it and it stuck. now many others call him that too. Not because Dan is like Joe Simmons, but because Dan has a wonderful relationship with God and others know it. They seek him for advice and consul. My husband will sit calmly and listen to someones problems. He is an amazing listener when he needs to be. He hears just what they are saying and he allows himself to feel what hey are feeling...so you know he is hearing them. In some ways Dan is walking with a person through their troubles so he can understand just what is happening inside them. Before Dan begins to minister to a person, he takes a deep breath to be sure he has understood why this person has come to him. Then he will start. Sometimes he shares with me the conversations and sometimes he does not. Dan does not advise someone on something he does not know...he does not use the "I would like to think...." method that so many people use when it comes to Godly consul. He will only tell you what he knows. But he lets God carry the message through him. Sometimes he will share with me the things he said and my mouth drops as he agrees with me, when I say 'How did you come up with that'.. his simple reply was..."it's not me, it's God." understandable.
A few weeks ago there was a terrible tragedy that happened here in Naples. A father slain his entire family. His wife and five young children... there is a lot more to the story, but beyond that, there were many people effected by this terrible act. For the father and the brother of the man work at our hotel. Many people at the hotel knew the family and the children. The day after the event. Dan came home from work and he had the heaviest heart I had seen on him for some time. He told me that he spent a good part of the day talking to many people who had connections with this angry man. The man's own father even approached Dan for encouragement and words. To ask for prayer.
This happens a lot to Dan. When you look at my husband you would never think that he has a christian heart.. Our society labels people right from the beginning... (You do it and I do it and you cannot say that you don't) It's the looks are always the first impressions and it stands there. We cant help it but it happens at the hotel. If you look nice and are dressed nice you must have class and money..not always the case.
He told me the other day of a good friend of ours that he was just talking to. I was astonished that even this person had come to him, never mind opened up to him seeking something from him.Dan listened and laid it down. People walk away from people like my husband with an idea, with a curiosity and with a hope...they act on them later by seeking and reading and finding and asking and knocking... their door begins to open and the light of the world shines through for them.
My husband does not need to shove anything down anyone throat... that is not his style unless you make him. He just quietly ministers to how God allows him to. People look down on us because we don't have a home church...for it's only in a church that the work of the Lord can be done...but Dan's church is far larger than the walls of a building with a cross attached to it somewhere...it's the people that he hears and speaks to... Dan never asked to be the leader of his ministry..in fact I could take an educated guess and say he most likely never asked for a ministry..but without even knowing it he has it and he does it. He learns so much from each person that he talks to.
I am so proud of him. His life...Our life has been touched by these people...they always thank him for his words or actions but it is them who need to be thanked by us...by him or by me...and I can tell you, we do thank them.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
What Will It Be Like With A Baby
We have a dog, Miles Davis Williams- Miles- named after Dan's favorite jazz musician Miles Davis.
Miles is a rescue dog from the Domestic Animal Shelter here in Naples. He has been with us for about five years- The shelter knew nothing about him-he was a stray, or a left behind or a run away. So when we met him they had no information. They didn't even know his real name, he was matted (not that bad), but they did tell us that they thought he could have been a show dog. The shelter thought he was well trained from the way he obeyed commands, the way he walked, groomed himself and how good his teeth were.
Finding the Miles, for us was not a long process. It only took a few weeks. I did have to act fast because Dan said "Yes" to a dog and I had to keep him in 'Dog Mode' and find one fast before he changed his mind. To be honest, when I first saw Miles (or as the shelter had named him for his seven day stay there Pom Pom)-I was not all that sure...Then it happened. Dan was the one who inquired about him, they opened up the cage he was in, put a leash around his neck and handed the leash to Dan and the two of then walked down to the 'Play Cage'- I walked behind them and saw my husband look down at this little dog and the dog look up at my husband.
Instantly me heart opened up. We played a little bit with the dog. Just as much as the dog would let us and asked the ladies from the shelter a few questions. They were not sure if he was a full breed 'Large Pomeranian' or a 'Pom-Mix' either way it did not matter to us, a mutt for all we care would be fine, he was fitting nicely into our lives at that moment. They also told us we could change his name since he only knew the name Pom-Pom for such a short time..I saw the glimmer in Dan's eyes...He looked at me and smiles...."Miles...Miles Davis Williams. What do you think?"
I smiled. In reality I choked back tears...but until now I have never fessed up to that emotion.
It was all a bit overwhelming- I mean to see my husband who never liked to open himself up to anyone show so much instantaneous love to this little black furry dog. Dan then looked Miles square in the eyes and asked him a simple question...."Wadda ya think little fella, do you wanna come home with us?" and right there the little black furry mutt kissed Dan's face. I melted. Stood up and said..."Thats it we'll take him."
If you ever knew Dan, and IF you ever would think for a moment that he was a 'Dog Guy' (which he never was) you may think....oh, lab or retriever...a large dog, but since there is a height restriction in our complex and all the other dogs in the complex are small, Dan was hook line and sinker for this little 'Large Pom'. Perfection he found in his new friend. Our newest family member.. I could not believe it...the entire experience was perfect.
I know I have blogged about Miles before..but things are changing in our family and they will change for Miles too. Since we are having a baby in March, I wonder how Miles will adjust to a little person sharing his attention. Miles has been our only family member for five years and he is spoiled, and wonderful. He is all about unconditional love and he just wants the same love back. Miles, I should say has never been a problem for us-if there has been a problem it's because we as humans made the wrong choices and we did not know any better. Miles being the obedient dog, let us figure them out on our own instead of punishing us. He has never been a burden or held us back from all that much. If he has, it's because we are selfish and just want his company. He is the best "excuse" we could have and most times it's just the truth.
I can say that I really am not all that worried about integrating Mile sand the baby. Miles is very obedient. It's really just us who will Have to balance a dog and a baby. I am sure we will make mistakes but we will figure it out.
We will not get rid of our dog because he barks to much and wakes the baby or he is dis- obedient...we don't get rid of a child because they make to much noise or they don't follow the house rules do we? He will not get pushed aside either. Our dog is so much a part of our lives and he will be as long as we show him what he wants...treat and love...how easy is that?
Miles is a rescue dog from the Domestic Animal Shelter here in Naples. He has been with us for about five years- The shelter knew nothing about him-he was a stray, or a left behind or a run away. So when we met him they had no information. They didn't even know his real name, he was matted (not that bad), but they did tell us that they thought he could have been a show dog. The shelter thought he was well trained from the way he obeyed commands, the way he walked, groomed himself and how good his teeth were.
Finding the Miles, for us was not a long process. It only took a few weeks. I did have to act fast because Dan said "Yes" to a dog and I had to keep him in 'Dog Mode' and find one fast before he changed his mind. To be honest, when I first saw Miles (or as the shelter had named him for his seven day stay there Pom Pom)-I was not all that sure...Then it happened. Dan was the one who inquired about him, they opened up the cage he was in, put a leash around his neck and handed the leash to Dan and the two of then walked down to the 'Play Cage'- I walked behind them and saw my husband look down at this little dog and the dog look up at my husband.
Instantly me heart opened up. We played a little bit with the dog. Just as much as the dog would let us and asked the ladies from the shelter a few questions. They were not sure if he was a full breed 'Large Pomeranian' or a 'Pom-Mix' either way it did not matter to us, a mutt for all we care would be fine, he was fitting nicely into our lives at that moment. They also told us we could change his name since he only knew the name Pom-Pom for such a short time..I saw the glimmer in Dan's eyes...He looked at me and smiles...."Miles...Miles Davis Williams. What do you think?"
I smiled. In reality I choked back tears...but until now I have never fessed up to that emotion.
It was all a bit overwhelming- I mean to see my husband who never liked to open himself up to anyone show so much instantaneous love to this little black furry dog. Dan then looked Miles square in the eyes and asked him a simple question...."Wadda ya think little fella, do you wanna come home with us?" and right there the little black furry mutt kissed Dan's face. I melted. Stood up and said..."Thats it we'll take him."
If you ever knew Dan, and IF you ever would think for a moment that he was a 'Dog Guy' (which he never was) you may think....oh, lab or retriever...a large dog, but since there is a height restriction in our complex and all the other dogs in the complex are small, Dan was hook line and sinker for this little 'Large Pom'. Perfection he found in his new friend. Our newest family member.. I could not believe it...the entire experience was perfect.
I know I have blogged about Miles before..but things are changing in our family and they will change for Miles too. Since we are having a baby in March, I wonder how Miles will adjust to a little person sharing his attention. Miles has been our only family member for five years and he is spoiled, and wonderful. He is all about unconditional love and he just wants the same love back. Miles, I should say has never been a problem for us-if there has been a problem it's because we as humans made the wrong choices and we did not know any better. Miles being the obedient dog, let us figure them out on our own instead of punishing us. He has never been a burden or held us back from all that much. If he has, it's because we are selfish and just want his company. He is the best "excuse" we could have and most times it's just the truth.
I can say that I really am not all that worried about integrating Mile sand the baby. Miles is very obedient. It's really just us who will Have to balance a dog and a baby. I am sure we will make mistakes but we will figure it out.
We will not get rid of our dog because he barks to much and wakes the baby or he is dis- obedient...we don't get rid of a child because they make to much noise or they don't follow the house rules do we? He will not get pushed aside either. Our dog is so much a part of our lives and he will be as long as we show him what he wants...treat and love...how easy is that?
I have a feeling it will be about teaching our baby as it grows to love and respect Miles, as I am sure Miles will do the same thing. Miles perhaps will take to our new addition very well. I can see him in the future sleeping under the baby's crib. He will choose this place in his job as the big brother of protecting the baby. He sleeps at the foot of our bed to protect us.
Having Miles in our lives for the past five years has been the best "responsibility" and addition to our marriage. We laugh a lot more and love a lot more because of him.
Can you imagine what it will be like with a baby?
(this is a photo of Miles waiting for Dan to come home.)
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