Wants and Needs

I was thinking just the other day about how much our life will change with our little baby arriving in about five to six weeks from now. This is a HUGE change for us, for Dan and for me, yet it is getting to be exciting for me. I hope for Dan too.

Becoming a mother is something that I have always wanted to do. To have a family and rear child to be like the children that I use to babysit for. It has just always been a dream. Now it will be coming true sooner than later..yet at a later stage in life of me. I am sooo happy that it has take so long for this to happen. I can not even think of my life in my thirties with a child. My thirties was such a growing and establishing time for me. I got so much done and out of me, that it only seems appropriate that God has given me this child in my forties.....perfect timing.

So this change. What will it bring? who knows, but I was making a list in my mind the other day at work tyring to get through the day of my "wants" and then something turned into my "needs"..

So here are a few of my "Wants"....
A beautiful Gucci Bag and Gucci shoes.....
*reality: I have two beautiful Louis bags, and I never wear heals. Dan is shorter than me and I am like 6'3 in heals...
A three bedroom home in a neighborhood that is kid friendly and has a pool....
*reality: Could happen some day, but the expense will be riveting. Really I think I am hunting for more room to put stuff.I have things jammed every which way in this small home just to make it fit. Maybe I should just get rid of stuff.
A new car for my husband.....
*Again a possibility but at the moment we have no car payments and it is so nice to have one less bill to worry about.
To move to Italy and raise Joey there for a few years...
*Ummm yeah what could the chances of that be.
For my husband to make more money so I can stay at home and raise my son like other mom's do.
*umm if Dan had a job making more money, then I would never see him and he would never spend any time with his son. We have a beautiful marriage, relationship and friendship. I can never ask him to give his family up for more money...

So these are a few of the "wants" in my life.

Then I thought of the "needs"....
(pause)........(long pause)...

See exactly that. There really is not anything I need. I need to be settled with the beauty I have in my life. I Need God as the center, I Need my family, I Need peace and I have all that. I Need continued relationships that are positive and loving and drama free. I have that too.

It really came down to this I have all I need. It has been provided for me already. I spend time with people who are constantly chasing the things they want and then when they have them it's never good enough and they are never happy. Dan and I work hard and have a very simple easy life. We don't own grand things nor do we even want them. we center our life with each other and love to those around us. God plays a huge part in our life. And when you think of it.. once you get what you WANT... does it satisfy you or are you done with it and start to want something else? are you grateful for your Wants? When you get the Needs....how do you feel? I know how I feel when the Need is filled...

Think about your Wants and your Needs and see where you stand on the scale of selfish and the easy way out stuff. It's a cycle that is hard to grasp and in a life that will change for us, keeping our wants..only wants and needs only needs has been hard, but we are figuring it out and hope that we can continue to figure it out when Joey arrives...

there is a BIG difference between the Wants and the Needs....

A Grandmother's Shower...

My wonderful mother had something VERY special happen to her yesterday....Her friends at work threw her a "Grandmother's Shower."

Have you ever heard of that? I have not, but her best friend Rita thought it would be a great idea. Mom is So excited about being a Grandmother. I mean lets face it, If you know my mom then you would know that she has wanted nothing more in life than to be a mother and a grandmother. It works out.

So Rita and Sonia and the hotel was so kind to mom and they had a beautiful spread of food for us, and she got wonderful gifts from her friends and the hotel. People from other departments came and honored her about becoming a Grandmother. All the different things she will need when she takes care of my son so I can go back to work. we are working out a plan that mom become very self sufficient with the baby and all I will have to do is drop him off. She already has a crib, bedding, a bath, a beautiful travel system, blankets, toys, I will give her some bottles and much more. She is so happy. As am I. We spent part of the day together yesterday before the shower and I thanked her in advance...

"why honey?" she said.

"for all you have done for us...not just all you HAVE done but all you WILL be doing for us."

"oh honey." she had tears in her eyes.

"you have no idea what it means to Danny and I that you will be a large assett to Joey's life. that you want to be involved in raising him."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." she said.

"Neither would I." I agreed

Mom shared with me that day too, that it was the very first shower she has ever had. In her honor. I thought strange, but when she told me that before she was married a wedding shower was not in fashion and before she had Angela she did not have a baby shower because, some people..(her mom) were very superstitious....(which I have heard that before).

So the other nice thing about this shower from her friends and peers at work was this. My mother takes care of everyone..and it was so nice to see them all give back to her. Just wonderful. they are all so excited for her and they cant wait to meet Joey. It will be wonderful.
I have never doubted the hotel she works for and the people that work there. They all are good people and they take care of each other. Mom has taken great care of them and they are all rejoicing in her excitement and happiness of becoming a grandmother.

I was there and not the center of attention so it suited me just fine. She entertained everyone and laughed and joked and cried and loved. It was wonderful to see....My mom's Grandmother Shower.

The Cradle Will NOT Fall

There is that lullaby.."Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top...When the wind blows the cradle will rock....When the bough breaks the cradle will fall....Down will come baby, cradle and all..."

First off what does that lullaby mean? I mean who wrote it and why? Was it something like Lewis Carroll and the Alice LSD thing or what... the lullaby is so stinking morbid....but this is not my story... I am getting to it....

We received one of the most beautiful gifts last week. Dan's brother in law John, BUILT us a cradle for our soon to be born son Joey. It is perfect. It took my breath away when I saw it and tears streamed down my face. i could not believe it....

He wanted to build it for us and asked us if he could when he found out we were expecting. At first Dan refused because cradle building is something John has only done for his own children to use for their children. but I immediately re-niged Dan's decline and with tears in my eyes, said to him "It would be lovely if you wanted to do that for our child. It will be treasured."

Well, all these months had passed and as we are setting up Joeys room and trying to get things ready for our little man's arrival, I had heard no progress on the cradle. No worries, but a few weeks ago John had told me it was finished and he would like to bring it over.

Donna and John came over for supper and he and Dan carried the cradle into Joey's bedroom. I came in and cried. It was perfect. It IS perfect. It is big and it is stained dark wood and he cut out footballs and helmets to put on the side and Dan's dad bought bumpers and a mattress and a sheet to go in it. A good friend at work gave a darling quilt with matching blankets and we put that in the cradle too. We did have to move the cradle into the living room area because it is big and the crib will eventually have to go in the bedroom, but it's even better in the living area.
It is so eye catching and since we are kitchen people and living room people then Joey will be out there with us catching a little nap in his new cradle. SO excited for him to come home and use it.

John can build anything. His craftsmanship is stunning. He can find a piece of shit entertainment center or dresser at a yard sale for nothing and bring it home and work on it and the next thing you would know it's a beautiful piece of furniture that you would never know had a previous beet up owner who was going to get rid of it. He even built an addition on to his house. He is in the home repair business. he is a handy guy and his son John is just like that. I think between the two of them they mus keep home Depot and Lowe's in business....Very impressive.

But all in all, this cradle is a stunner. he built one for his son John's first child and since then John and Jennifer's three kids have used it. He also built one for his daughter's child and now her second son will be using it. We will only have one child, but Joey will use the cradle and we may find other uses for it when Joey grows out of it..who knows.. It will make a beautiful family heirloom to be passed on. I like that. We don't have much of that these days, so this cradle is perfect. It is a perfect addition in furniture to our home, for a perfect little addition to our family coming soon...

I can tell you this. You can't get this cradle up to a tree top... the wind will never blow this cradle down and this cradle will Not fall...

Shower Thee People......

You know that song by James Taylor?.....'Shower thee people you love them the way that you with love..... show them the way that you feel...' Great song...

Well last Saturday I was put to a baby shower for me and my son. It was a wonderful day. it was cold and rainy, but I really think the weather worked in our favor. But there were about thirty people I knew (which was more than at our wedding) and each of the women and a few men mean so much to me. I am excited about the part they will play in my son's life as he grows and gets to know them.

A family friend, Susan was the most gracious hostess at her club. She set up a beautiful luncheon and it seemed people had a nice time.....Not a lot of peolpe like to do to showers, but I am not sure if it was just me, It looked like people were enjoying themselves. I don't know but maybe they were. It was a good mix of people. I tried to introduce everyone during my little welcome speech and let everyone know how I know everyone there.

My son was showered with so much love and generosity from all. I cant even choose if there was a favorite gift. Everything was perfect. I really am no longer the girl that loved to be the center of attention anymore. I remember my wedding shower I was having hot flashes because everyone was looking at me. We did something a little different though. We kept people busy during gift time by decoration onsies. This way the focus was not all on me. Perfect. And it also seemed things moved along quite well. Wonderful company, lots of smiles, great food, happy baby, beautiful life, lots of love in the room. Took days to go through everything and organize, but it was good fun.

Blessed and showered....Cant wait to do it for someone some day...to Shower someone I love....

The Heat Is On....

January 6th 2010..

We have the heat on in the house. To most people this is not a big deal because you too have the heat on, but you may live in cold areas of the country... We however live in South west FL, "where the sun always shines..." not really.

It has been cold. COLD. I have to admit. I like the weather right now. 35degrees. But it's all for selfish reasons. One being this pregnant... I am always hot. Cant stand it. And two... we had the hottest and most humid summer that I can remember in ten years. I hated it.

But now it's just down right col. My poor husband who leaves the house at 5:30am, was so chilly and he is bald so he is even more cold. my dog LOVES this weather.. he just runs and runs and runs... well he does have the most fur too.

But last night wads the coldest night and it froze the crops which means produce prices will go up. Dan had ice on his windshield this morning and major shrinkage. I sorta feel bad for the guests at the hotel because they would really like hot weather, but these things happen. Over the past few years it has gotten colder in January. So you know its what it is....

But this too shall pass in a few weeks I am sure. February will be nice and at least I have a home to be in and I am not on the streets sleeping. Grateful.

I never like to put the heat on...I think it is a waste, but today, last night, the night before, for now....The heat is on.....

You Can't Escape The Pregnant Waddle....

The other day at work I was having lunch with my sweet friend Katrina who is also pregnant. She is about four months though behind me. We were laughing and giggling and more about how the body changes and what we go through.

We were comparing notes and as we were walking back to our prospective work places I couldn't help but notice that Katrina's already had the pregnant waddle. We stopped and I looked at her and I said..."please, I don't care who are, but it is not possible to avoid the pregnant waddle." statement made.
She said... "I know right. Look at me I am already waddling." we both laughed.

A few months ago I was walking down the link in the hotel and someone said to me... "she's got the pregnant walk." I was less than amused because I did not have it then and I have tried so hard to not have it, but you just can't help it. It happens with out you knowing.

Sometimes I think it's the shoes I wear or the fact that my feet hurt or my legs hurt, but in reality, I have a basketball in my stomach and it's the first thing that enters through the door.
I am pregnant. this morning I finished breakfast and I looked down at my feet and I laughed. I could not help but think how swollen they are. It's just so funny. My body and all that it is doing to keep this child safe in me and prepare me for the baby to come.

Note, I thought maybe I might just waddle at work, but I don't I found myself yesterday at the shops waddling and even in the house. Dan and I laugh all the time about the changes. It really is good fun to laugh at too.

I bet even Gisele Buchen had a pregnant waddle. My aunt would call me and tell me that she looks great and has this little bump, maybe gained no weight. But I also had to remind my aunt that Gisele is the highest paid model in the world, makes more than her dishy husband, is 6ft. 2 in tall and has a chef and a trainer....Come on, I work at the Ritz Carlton and eat ICU food.... BIG difference, but I bet she too had that waddle.

So for now Katrina and I can waddle around the hotel as our bellies lead us and feel good about ourselves. But really I tried, I tried really hard NOT to waddle, but you know, you just can't escape the pregnant waddle.

A New Decade

2010......

is it me or is the idea of and entire new decade ridiculous to even fathom.

Seriously....I cannot even think that it's a new Decade. I am okay with it being a new year, but the other day when I read somewhere that a new decade was upon us, I really had to stop and think about it....

Where did it all go? I mean really. Okay I remember the whole Y2K crap, but now it's a "decade" later and we are not zooming around in little spaceships yet... Funny. Dan said the other day we should change Miles' name to Astro and call the baby Elroy... 'cause as a kid the idea of 2010 was so far off and we all thought we would be flying around like the 'Jetson's'.

But business as usual and I think I am glad of that. No real changes right now. People are still who they are that is okay. We are not standing in bread lines with ration cards, we still are a free nation and we can be who we want. We can achieve anything we wish to or sit back and let the the world go by us and not care if we want. We can love and laugh when we want and share and be at peace when we want. This is all a good thing and we should be grateful for it. Although things change in our midst so often, things can still stay the same.

I have no "resolution " for this new year. I am just going to take each day one step at a time. I think I need to. I am entering this year with a child in my belly and a father in law who is still in the hospital...so things just go one day at a time and I will let God lead. This time I can honestly say for the moment I need to step back and let it happen around me. This could really be that change that I need for the better as I enter this new 'Decade'.

I like the idea too. Just let me coast for a while. Welcoming this new year with more love in my heart for those around me. Far more acceptance for those around me too. But so much more thankfulness to those around me. I am a grateful and blessed woman in all area's of my life.
I hope you are too.

A new year, a new post, a new beginning a new start to seasons, new history to be made and a New Decade.