Lots To Catch Up On...

So it has been a while since I posted...I will catch you up on some things that have been on my mind lately.....
I am coloring my hair as we speak. I am at the point of sitting blogging while the hair color sets into my scalp... my full head of hair is twisted on top of my head in a pin knot with smelly hair color. Dark Brown has been my color of choice. As i approach 40 this upcoming weekend, the grey in my hair is endless...I mean endless... I would LOVE to be all grey... yes I would.. I think it is beautiful... But my hair is long and it would take a long time to grow grey... which reminds me I am also going to cut my hair soon...
SO I let the hair color sink in while I blog.

1. I am over Jon and Kate plus 8. I am over the nonsense. I am OVER her hair style, Come on cut it or grow it. But no more. I wonder is she THAT famous that she needs two body guards?
But really enough already, it's like Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton...ENOUGH..

2. I don't care WHO you are but there is always some kind of dysfunction in your family. Yes there is and if you don't want to admit it then that's fine, but just know others see it...I have this cousin, growing up who really thought he was WAY better than his family. He was well educated. Harvard educated actually.(which is great, I love Harvard..dabbled there a little myself) and when we would have family holidays and dinners or celebrations, he pouted because he did not want to be there. He hated being with his family. He as beyond them. He married a nice educated woman and they had two kids.They would come to family parties but didn't like it and he would sit alone and make it known that he wanted nothing to do with the low life's of the family...which was all the rest of us...Whatever. Now I have not seen this person in years... I mean Years.. and it's fine, but I had the same experience a few weeks ago...not with him but someone else....You know what. If you don't want to be a part of the family ....then don't. Then just don't come. Because sooner or later you will stop being asked to participate And according to you that is fine... I will share one last comment on this topic though.. My oldest brother was killed in a car accident in 1976...It's been thirty some odd years since he passed, and you know what
he's gone. I have wished for thirty some odd years that I would do ANYTHING to have two minutes in the arms of my brother. When they are gone, they are gone... no getting them back.

3. Ask my opinion and I will tell you EXACTLY how I feel. I am now 40, it is my rite of passage to be honest and I will. If you disagree with me, that is fine. I don't care...but don't be offended with me or anyone else who gives you an honest opinion and it's not what you want to hear. You asked an OPINION, which we are all entitled to have and that's it.....When I ask people and they don't agree with me, it's fine, I don't explain or defend myself unless they want me to, but I am not hurt. I stepped into it by asking. I am learning from that person...(read my Through The Door blog) Open yourself up to friends, family and others who will not always agree...it's the way it is. You choose your life and it's fine with me, and I choose mine. You may not agree, but all of these things are what makes the world go around. Remember God made us in his own image...and look how different we are. Love that...

4.I bought the movie 'Pretty in Pink' today at wal mart for 5 bucks. LOVE this movie...Brat pack stuff you cannot beat. I remember the first time I saw it too. I really was not crazy about it. I was dating Chris Ricci, my first (serious) boyfriend and we saw the movie. We saw a lot of people from school there too, like Jamie O'Neil and Kendra something...her sister. I remember after I stated I didn't like it. But I love it and got use to it as time went on. In fact, my junior prom, I took TD Carpenter and he dressed like Duckie Dale from the movie. That was cool. If it were on TV, I would put the clicker down and watch the movie. Perfectly produces high school growing pains. EVERYONE can relate.

5. I took the Bravotv.com quiz on what New Jersey housewife I was. My friend at work told me to take it. She was Caroline...I could have guessed for her. She is far more matriarchal than I... My result was that I was Jaceline. Eh okay w/ that. As long as I was not Danielle. My husband wanted to know why I was not the sexy hot tempered Italian Teresa...and I said I didn't like to shop... Love NJ housewives cannot wait to see the reunion show tonight and Thursday...

6.Glad to see RUNS HOUSE back on tv. For all of you christian friends and family out there, You should watch this show. It may not be like the Duggers (who I adore) but MTV really can come up with a famous well balanced family and put them on TV. Don't overlook Rev Run and his messages. It's all good and centered around GOD...
I think I am done.

Junkie...

This past Sunday the Tony Awards aired on TV. I LOVE live musical theatre. To me it doesn't get much better than a brilliant Broadway voice that can bring me to the brink of tears. Usually a mans voice.
I grew up with an appreciation of musical theatre. It is how I spent my jr.high and high school stints, as well as my summers in Hingham...Different plays and companies. I was always had a supporting roll. I liked that. Never really wanted the lime lite. I liked back stage too. I would have loved to learn the real way to direct a musical from my high school teacher. The man had nothing but brilliance for choosing the right musical for the talent of the year.
Summer Theatre was also fun. It was a way of spending the summer screwing around with out getting into trouble. The plays and people, the fun we would have. Then when you were asked to work on the Adult shows....you know the plays that only two teens were cast in and the rest were all twenty something plus talent...this was serious business too...these guys in their mind WERE Broadway material and could not understand why they could not make it in the Big Apple...THAT was brilliant because of the cat fights, and how this person should not have this role and that person can't sing or dance as well as I can and blah...but when a drama club member was asked to work backstage on the plays, it WAS big time. You were someone...
Yeah, so each year a handful of us would work back stage and have a great time, cause now we were hanging with the biggies.....
. I loved drama in High school though. President of the Drama club my senior year. Thespian Society troupe #1982 and for some strange reason I was awarded Best Female Thespian...hmmm but all in all, the Drama Club and it's people is what kept me going in High School...
I did not pursue Drama or Theatre after high School. I traveled with Up With People for a year in 1989. That was more good will ambassador stuff and less, much less theatre stuff. So throughout the years I did try to keep up on this musical and that one. Living in Boston it was easy...living in DC was easy too, cause lots of show came and went. But living in Naples, there really is not much around. When shows come here, they are REALLY expensive. The stage at the Phil is so small that you don't get the full effect and the shows stay for three days. They don't camp out like in the bigger cities. Naples doesn't give people a chance to scrape up the money yo see a show...but that's okay
It's why I have the Tony Awards. Every year I watch a small portion of it, the opening numbers and then move on the Gene Simmons Family Jewels, but I get a chance to see and hear what is a new on Broadway. I get a chance tos ee Angela Landsbury win Another Tony for yet another brilliant piece of work. I get to see more and more "famous"people work on stage and develop themselves as "ACTORS" eight shows a week...it's not as easy as TV or movies. I get to see..people living their dream and doing EXACTLY what they love to do...
Yeah, I am still a theatre Junkie...

Housewives....

"The Real Housewives of....."

I have to give Bravo TV snaps for some of the best reality shows out there... "Project Runway", "Top Chef", "Blow Out" which aired a few years ago with the egotistical Jonathan Anton..(mesmerizing), "The Millionaire Matchmaker" and the one about the Personal trainer Jackie which I cannot remember the name of... The is also "My life on the D-List" with whats her name.. and there was a small show about Paula Abdul which I think she needs to watch and then apologise for.. Poor thing... Anyway, another reality that I enjoy is "The Kardashians"... That show is like a bad train wreck that you just cannot keep your eyes off of... but I cannot give snaps to Bravo TV for that one. "The Kardashians" is all E and Ryan Seacrest....

Yes! okay Yes! I am a reality TV network junkie... some of these show are good and some of them really keep me in check of who I am... I can't help it...But let me get ONE thing straight...

I am a "The Hills" junkie.... it all started with MTV and the creation of "Laguna Beach" introducing us to Lauren Conrad and her high school friends.....(oh, poor Missi, she is a forty year old woman watching these kid shows....) Yeah I am and yeah I love them... It's been so hard to find good TV since "Friends", "Cheers", "Will and Grace", "CSI"...so I have to settle for TV and I settle for reality TV....Dan settles for "The Family Guy", I settle for the Best of the best... next to "The Hills"...

"The Real Housewives of....." It all started with "The Real Housewives of Orange County"

not a bad intro to the show. A bunch of wealthy women, married, some divorced, some are stay at home "moms" if you will, some are business women making their own cash and most have had boob jobs that would make me question the diploma of their plastic surgeon.... but al in all you watch six or seven women intertwine their lives with each other.. all overly sensitive and blond and driving killer cars, spoiling their kids to the point of, their kids end up in rehab....or jail...or having a really hard time finding a job....or graduating from high school....

Moving on... After a few seasons of "Orange county" Bravo smartened up and moved production to New York...."The Real Housewives of New York City." LOVE IT. maybe I am from the Boston area and seem to relate more to the city ladies than I do the beach ladies, even though I live in Naples FL... maybe it's because New Yorkers wear black a lot and I do tooo....

These women are HILARIOUS....there are so many insults and bickering and whining it is brilliant. I have my favourites, but I won't share them....I will say these women do a lot of charity work and I think it's great, but HOLY COW are they all a trip.....

After New York then came the Real Housewives of Atlanta....this was not a good season. I could not make heads or tails of any of these women. I couldn't catch on and had an interest in only a few stories, but it was not gripping and compelling as the others.. I think it was the white girl that threw me off.....

NOW...it looks like we have struck GOLD with the newest posse of Housewives and that is NEW JERSEY....How friggin' brilliant is Bravo for coming up with the idea of New Jersey....This is going to be great. The only bad thing is... These women will give the Italian heritage a bad name....because "Italians" are not like this...ONLY "American Italians" so when they say...."I'm an Italian" I wonder if they have ever been to Italy. It looks like we will have lots of bling and lots of cat fights and lots of back stabbing......what more could anyone possibly want on TV?

Let me break it all down for you into why I actually like this show.....it's so easy... It puts me into so much perspective on my little life and how incredible normal I am. I have often wondered that if I had all the money and cars and big houses and a husband with high money jobs and wads of cash, could I have possibly turned into these women... YES I could have and I know it to be a fact because it happened to a friend and she....well I will stop there, but I have a good little life and with the exception of the charity work some of these women do, I really do not envy them at all...so I see a group of chicks making complete arses of themselves because they have lots of money....I see it at the hotel all the time... money doesn't buy happiness and it CERTAINLY doesn't buy CLASS....

I am a housewife....and I love it.....

An Indulgence.. That Is Not Food...

I have a nail tech license... I love it. I love to do pedicures... It's funny to because I never liked anyone to touch my feet. Feet to me were gross and yucky and the idea of having my feet touched was horrid.
I am also not one for the indulgence of having a manicure or pedicure. I also found that indulgence a true indulgence. there is more I can do with my money than spend it on myself with something so ridiculous than myself. This is how I felt...sometimes, well most of the time I still do.

Anyway last year I went to school to become a licensed professional in the Nail business. It was great. In school believe it or not, you have to use your brain, so this was good for me because as stated in an earlier blog, using my brain at work is not something that I do to much...it's just not needed. So I learned all about fungus, anatomy, nail growth you know the entire gamut that goes along with the profession of toes and fillangies...

So I work at a hotel that is deemed five star/ five diamond by some companies that do a hotel survey...and would love to work in the spa there doing Pedi's and Mani's. I would love to be trained. I would love to 'engage with they guests' in the salon. How exciting, and how exciting for them to have an English speaking woman sitting across from them doing their nails that they could actually understand...incredible. No jobs available at the moment so we stay in retail...

BUT, so excitement....my private clients are great. Comfort of their own homes or girls parties or vacationers. Birthday parties for kids. I am telling you it is fun.

Some people even send me home with dinner. They want me to stay for lunch. They bake me cookies, tech me Italian. I become their sounding board, their masseur for their feet and legs. I make them feel pretty and take them away, out of the real world. Out of the humdrum life that they may lead and put them someplace else. I love it...I never thought that my days as a bartender would come in handy... (if you were ever a bartender than you would know just what I was talking about.)

I wanted to post a picture of one of my favorite clients....Gave her a Mani and Pedi one time and she was so excited she almost jumped out of her own skin to have hot pink nails and toes.

It was the most enjoyable client I have ever had.

If I could do her nails every day I would.. We had so much fun. I look forward to many more. I hope she does too....

He Got A Hair Cut....

We had to do it... we had to... Miles went to the groomer today and got a "Puppy Cut" as they say....
We have been putting it off for the longest time because we wanted to save money... at the old house, we would bath him in the drop sink in the garage...but the new house doesn't have a drop sink...(yet) so we had to get him cut...
He has so many snarls and he has SO much hair. He has a real thick undercoat so it's hard to even just brush him....
I drop him off and tell the kind lady, "here is what we would like, keep his little beard a little full, we like stuff around his ears, to make him look cute, but please do what you think would be best for him..."
Well, they did what is best for him and gave him a short cut, and a fluffy tail... we hate his tail fluffy when no other part of him is fluffy...so now our "precious little Miles" looks like a dingo or a hyena from "The Lion King". We both knew that we would not like it even before I picked him up...call it intuition. So to make up for it we were ready for him to come home with all of his toys ready for playing and lots of love and treats...to ease the blow... I am not sure if it was for him or for us....(probably for us)
So as we are laughing and commenting on "our precious little Miles' puppy cut...Dan looked at Miles and said..."Aw it's okay, little fella. I've had some really bad hair cuts back in the day.One time I even stayed home from school for three days because of a bad haircut...I still love you..." and it got me thinking... what a nice thing to say to "our precious little Miles" because it's true. He did have some bad haircuts and I did too. Like when I was thirteen, with a short perm. Thinking that it was awesome...please...but see all in all, Miles will have this cut for such a short time before his hair grows back, and we have vowed ONE MORE TIME... to brush him everyday and take care of his coat so we will not have to put him through the trauma of the groomer again...(once again, not sure if He's traumatized or US....probably us more than him.)
So we live with a dingo for awhile... It could be worse...
But he got a hair cut....

New Digs...

So Miles, Dan and I moved from 257 Yorkshire Ct. to 225 Georgetown Blvd....
It all happened so fast I cannot get things straight. We had to do it and needed to... We are literally four homes up the street from the old house. The house we loved and adored and called a home. A good home for a few years.
So now we are on the Boulevard...Georgetown blvd. that is and we are no longer living out of boxes or trash bags, but we are not entirely settled...Okay, so the new place is same square footage as the other place...but the living space is smaller now because we have a lanai. The old house we did not, just a way bigger living area, we could hold the Dancing With the Stars show in it. the new house, a bigger garage...yeah still only one car, but wider and holds our stuff better...new place, newer kitchen...but less cabinet space....new place white walls...old place LOTS of color, but I could be over color on walls...we have so much color in our furniture that color on the walls would make the place look smaller...new place, easier floors to clean....new place ...carpet in bedrooms...(dirty though, once my bathroom gets fixed then we will steam clean the rugs)...new place...no ants (so far...Dan's personal nemesis...he battled ants at the old house everyday....)...new house....separate closets....(well Dan uses the guest room closet and the guest bathroom is his.....COME ON after six years of marriage and seven of being together do you really think that we would still share stuff like that? No way....we know our boundaries...)
new place....screen front door...this is great because we can keep the front door open and the screen door keeps Miles in the house. Old house... had a great comfort level of being HOME...
New house...eventually it will he HOME...
I am off work this week w/ Bronchitis... It snuck up on me fast, but it didn't surprise me that I fell sick. I have had SOOOO much stress and have been busy at work as well as out here in the real world, but body said..."hey, chill." and now I am. Rest, rest , rest.... this doesn't mean I am running all over and decorating... because I feel yucky enough to be in bed all day, read , nap and fall in love with the new house...
Having a bit of a smaller home seems like it can be crapmed, but you know what... It's SOOO much easier to clean... really. I like the fact that the house is cozy and we are together...Dan always wanted a big house on the beach, I always wanted a small bungalo on the beach. Dan wanted a huge master bath... I wanted an outside shower...We don't entertain much either so it's not like we need lots of space, we are not a growing family...we just have the three of us and it's good. We are glad to be in the neighbourhood still, that ws important to us. The people that live here are wonderful people.
lots of changes... but changes are good.
Miles misses the old house and he is having a hard time adjusting to the new crib, but he will do it, just like we will...It will all come together soon....
I have not blogged in so long because I have been a little busy with the move and work all at once....but we ae good now....actually we are better than good and we just don't know it....
New digs....

I can do that....

DO you ever feel that EVERYTHING is just taking you over... Crashing down on you and no matter what.... no matter what you do you cannot get ahead.
Lately it's like my own personal train wreck...(not really that bad but we all have to have our own pity parties)

Can I list all of these things...maybe, but I will not. I just think that I try so hard each day, just the best that I can. I do catch myself when I don't and I get pretty pissed when I do things half arsed.

But for now, I feel like I am struggling with friendships and how to handle them. How to settle feelings and conversations and life with friends. A relationship with friends I have to say is the hardest relationship I could have. I work very hard at my marriage. But friends, hmmm it's far more difficult. I don't ever want to be burned by anyone the way I was from a childhood friend . So I keep things and people at a distance and just do it the way I can do it. I will give a friend everything I have to a fault. But the one thing about friends is....we want approval, we want their love, we want to be happy. I think mostly we want approval....but you know what I want with a friend. It's to be myself and for that friend to be herself. Lay it all out on the table and just be who we are. No judgement. Just ourselves. You want friends that when you see after a long period of time, the conversation picks up right where it was left off... I have two friends like this. and our friendship is beautiful. We laugh and talk and are honest. I cannot say that anyone else that are my friends see me the way these two sisters see me and I don't see any other friends the way I see them. It's a pure agape love....

What about some of the other friends that I have that are not like these two sisters...well, it's work, I am always careful with what I say, where I am, what I wear, agreeing with something when I don't agree. Carefully choosing my words. Being a cheerleader even when I know I will get knocked down. I don't think that that is an honest me....What am I doing?... What am I doing?

Do I keep going on with these friendships? I don't cut anyone off. I have had that done to me and it sucks so I will never do that, but for now I I feel like I am in limbo with a few relationships of people....This is a good time to think about things... Easter week.

Easter and the Fourth of July are my two favorite holidays of all of them.

Easter week... I have a heavy heart too so this could just add so much more to my own shame spiral. But the thought of spring...the green grass, the flowers budding and the snowbirds leaving it is refreshing. The idea of spring cleaning is a good idea..(now I just have to do it) The idea of a new...Spring is not Easter.

Easter is the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus. This I like very much. This doing of his. This job he had...

Thursday (today) really is one of my favorite days in Easter week. Maudity Thursday. According to the bible, this was the Last Supper. This is where Jesus showed the most agape love to his buddies and washed their feet. Nothing more humbling than washing feet...someone Else's feet... I was at church one Holy Thursday, and it was time to wash feet. You know how you feel? Maybe not....maybe you don't know... have never washed the feet of a homeless man in the House of God. I washed his feet. Someone else washed mine. You don't chose the feet of the people you wash, it's just do it. Could some of you do it. Jesus did it.

One Good Friday, years ago I called my dad one day to say hello... "Hi dad, what are you doing today?" I asked him.. "I'm just sitting here thinking about what Jesus had to go through today. I was just thinking about what Jesus had to endure just for me and my family."
His answer struck me a bit. It struck me because I know my dad and I know that he WAS thinking about it. He was tossing emotions of the Crucifixion of Jesus, the beatings of Jesus, the humiliation that Jesus endured for my dad. God gave up his son Jesus for us. Mom and dad gave up their son Paul to be with the Lord.

So when Easter Sunday actually come around. (this year I will be working and then dinner with my family) It's a refreshing time. A new life time...a strong time, a time to overcome and gain a new....

So having my own personal train wreck, my pity party, my shame spiral....this is a good time for me to have it... since I have to think about my life and rethink. Start again. Gain anew. A good time of year to really think. Maybe I have to just work harder at the friendships that are difficult. Maybe I have to just take time and be for myself and get it all straight. Maybe I just have to let God choose for me...I like that "maybe" best...

The Jews celebrate their release of freedom from slavery with Passover....usually around the same time as Easter. And Easter is celebrated for the release of Jesus in to his Fathers Kingdom.
I love both of these celebrations...Imagine being released. The Peace.
Would you feel peace?

My train wreck is not that bad....but maybe I just need to clean it up a bit...
I can do that...