That Glass of Wine Soon...

I ran into an old friend the other day...it was kind of funny. We sort of dropped out of being friends 'cause she had a kid.

That sounds almost funny, but its a world that I know not a lot about to take in...I mean yeah I am pregnant and will be a mom in like 2 1/2 months, but even with all the babysitting and daycare I did...... I was not a mom...
So there is this label that is put on you when you chose to be single, or childless. Some people are childless because they cannot have children. Then the decision on living a life with out children is their choice or adoption. But that is entirely different. You get the pity party "oh I am sorry" bit from people and the "we're praying for Gods will for you" bit.

But when making a conscious decision to be single or childless. Funny what society makes of you... Its like you are blacklisted..completely. You are not asked to babysit your friends kids. go to recitals and events at their kids school and sometime just not be friends with them anymore because what could you possible have to offer in on the conversation or their life since you are not a mom... Yet funny how much fun we had before their kid showed up and what we had in common...just being married and silly. I use to go to this church before I got married..(Dan and I were living together but not married) and people would ask me if I was married and when I said "no" ( I would never tell them I was living with my boyfriend..for fear they would cast me out even more) they would say.."oh" and turn away.....Then when I DID get married but we chose not to have a family..and I was asked if I had any children.. and again I would reply "no" the women would look at me and turn away. Happens all the time. As this was never the case and so not normal.. See a stigma in peoples mind and completely labled by other women...

So she was all giddy when she found out I was pregnant and happy for us to know that we will have a life with a child.

Yeah....it really made me stop and think about my own future actions.
I have friends that do not have kids and I wonder if I will still be friends with them after my son Joey arrives? I really like these women that I know that are not moms and I wonder if I will become one of THOSE women who only want to be around other moms and kids. Ummm I know there is this common bond that you have with others, but there is also the bond that I still have with the others of just something like womanhood that I really don't want to give up.
Hey I am sooo excited about being "Joey's mom" and may forever in my life be labled as that..in fact there is a woman at work who now greets me as that. I dig it. And I am ready for that too, but do I want to give up more people who are friends with me and who have touched my life with stories and laughter and sisterhood, just because they don't have kids?

I have prayed that the Lord will not take that away from me. these women or friendships that I have made. I want to go to their house and watch the fun TV shows we talk about all the time together and laugh about our husbands and share storries of family... It's just as nice, but dropping someone because they are no longer on the "mom level" you are on is silly.

I can't say it will or will not happen with me. I am excited for my new journey that I am being put on..but I also have the blossoms from THIS life that still need nurturing. We have no idea how important these people are... and what we can learn from the... the common bond may not be motherhood, but it could be womanhood....

I'll be over for that glass of wine soon.....