Gets Better

I know..... I know it has been months. But life balance is more important.

Stealing a little bit of time right now to catch up.. soon better posts will follow.

Joey turned 2 this year. YES! 2! Fact of the matter... Dan and I ARE doing something right....

I notice this HUGE change in him maybe two weeks before his actual birthday. He became this sponge of life and lessons. He would just soak so much in. I was amazed.

He sits longer when we read to him, he understands so much more, he is receptive to all that is around him and his focus is stronger. He wants to learn as much as he wants to play..... "Dig into creativity Mayo and think of fun ways to play with trucks that is educational" I say to myself all the time. He is interested in how I can connect a bulldozer to the letters of the alphabet and he laughs when we make it work....

He is as tall as a three year old and has only two words in his vocabulary.. I am proud to say it is... Mum-Mum and Dah-Doh...(which is Joey language for TRUCK).... Yup that is it. we try to get him to speak but he wants nothing of it.

Maybe this is a sign that he will be the strong silent type of guy. Maybe it's a sign that he really isn't ready to be thrown out into the world two days a week, maybe it's a sign that there may be years to therapy or not to push the growing up thing, that he is not ready to potty train or speak in sentences or what not.. Look I wonder if I lived in a metropolitan area that I would think differently, you know the pressure of school waiting lists and stuff but here there doesn't seem to be that pressure, when he says the word Mum-Mum or Dah-Doh it is the sweetest sound. I said to Dan the other day as much as I would love for him to talk, I just love his little words. they are HIS words. HIS voice in HIS way. I love that about Joey. He communicates perfectly with us, it's as if he needs not to speak. I never taught him sign language as so many people do,but he can let us know every need he has and we get it completely. I think it's just part of being a parent.

It's an exciting journey to be on. I wonder each day... Is this is... is today the start of the Terrible Two's? and I have seen no signs of them YET. (though I may have just jinxed myself.) Joey is joey and I am enjoying him becoming that boy, the man that he will be.

He is his own private Idaho and I love that about him. I don't compare him to other children, I don't think that is right and I don't see the favor in doing so. Each child as in each of us is different and we were made to be that way.

We had a wonderful birthday party for Joey in celebration of his second birthday. People and kids of all ages were with us...we celebrated with a bubble theme and it was so fun to see all the kids enjoy the bubbles. Joey seemed to have had a good time and that is all that matters.

There is so much more growing to do. Each day is different between now and three. We I expect nothing, my son will learn at his own pace, we will continue to teach him , to nurture him and love on him as much as we can. We are just having a really good time.

This gift of parenthood that God gave us at our old age, was a huge surprise, but it has been the best and most rewarding gift given to us.

Hold on, it only gets better.

I personally feel I use Facebook for so many things. I really don't even like the phone anymore..maybe because when we moved to Marco Island over a year ago, my phone stopped ringing.
(Lets face it. Marco is 16 miles from downtown Naples ((approx. 20min. ride....30min. if you live in North Naples...) which personally I have no qualms about the ride into Naples, but it seems that most of the people that I was friendly with would never take "That long trip to Marco" Whatever))

Anyway, SO I am beginning to connect with quite a few people on Facebook from elementary, Jr. high and high school. I found a Friend who lives in Naples that went to Foster School and Central with me. I was so excited and we met for a chat and had a wonderful time. Great to be with her and since she lives "close" (Naples). We have made more plans to see each other... but there are some people on Facebook, I have to admit that I am not sure about. I read a lot on my friend Lisa's blog about how she was bullied so much by other kids. Bullies to the extent of having to leave one school to join us in Junior High at another school. Her memories of her school years are not so fond, and as I read more about her trials, I can see why. I hope that Lisa does have a few fond memories of the friendship we shared in Jr. High and HHS....we had fun in the summer doing community theatre as well as the Drama Club at HHS....
But she opened up a box that had been shut for years. The High School years. ARGGG. I loathed High School. It really was ONLY the Drama Club and Drama Class that actually got me out of bed each morning to the bus stop in the freezing cold and into homeroom.....Everything else was a total blurr. Honestly...I have run into a few people in my 23 years out of HHS and have had NO IDEA who they were. Shame, but truth.

As a member of the Drama Club I can say you basically marked yourself for bullying. With out a doubt. You NEEDED to be popular, you needed to be from a wealthy family, you needed to have your own car, you needed to play sports, you needed to smoke pot, to drink, to be smarter, to go on lavish spring breaks etc, but if you were in the Drama Club... basically a death sentence. But one thing that ALL those kids that teased Lisa and myself and other from the club never knew was, they really hurt our feelings....The Drama Club was great. We had so much fun and we relished in each others victories as performers, we encouraged each other to do their best and we were fr000iends. We had the most talented teacher in HHS directing us for our High School careers, for living in the moment and preparing us fully for the world beyond HHS auditorium. If we chose to go into acting, production or anything else arts related. It we chose not to continue on out of HHS it didn't matter. He solidified us as people and future... Our other classmates, continued to tease us.
I remember one time during my senior year musical, The Music Man, I was doing a song on stage w/ Jamie and I looked out and saw all the "COOL KIDS" in the audience. Kinda baffled me. A few days later, I asked one of the "cool kids" who was in my history class if they liked the show...."We HAD to go," she said, "We couldn't play in our next game if we didn't see your stupid show."

Look. I could suggest to Lisa that she just GET OVER IT... 23 years is a long time to be carrying around this bully shit, but you know what. I'm not. Lisa is a great activist for bullying and I don't blame her. The thing is.. I see these same "Cool Kids" on friend requests on Facebook. I think back to who there were in HHS. I see photos of their children and I wonder to myself it their kids will be bullies or even be bullied.

I have a child to raise and I have to raise him in a confident manner. I have to try to instill in him goodness and love, compassion and strength. I have to teach him to honor himself and others, to love thy neighbour and his enemies. I have this BIG job ahead of me that he does not fall into either side of that bullying trap, that maybe he could stand up for himself or for another who is a victim of bullying...friend or not.
I mostly stay away from accepting THOSE "friend requests" because of the past....and I am well aware that part of forgiveness is realising that I can't change the past...so 23 years later... may be silly to hold on to something... but maybe I may wait another 10-15 years and see how their children are making out.....
Lisa, this I can say to you.. I will promise to do my best in raising my son to be kind, friendly, strong, and accepting....I will ask GOD each day to give me the tools to provide Joey with positive words for him and others around him in hopes that he will NOT be a bully or a victim, but he would see how others are being hurt by words or actions and he would stand up for them. I promise.

So since Joey was born, I have been struggling with the "Notion" of having him "baptized/christened/dedicated" which ever you want to call it..... When I was pregnant, I thought .."If I have a girl then I am going all 'Godfather' for her Christening.." meaning, my sister was willing to give us wedding gown, full of beautiful silks and we would have thing HUGE dress made,an elaborate ceremony at the church, a tent in the back yard, a band, tons of food, and just go all out....Just like in the movie 'the Godfather', minus the horses head. Why not I am an Italian, it was done for me, I would do it for my daughter... When Joey was born, my thoughts and feelings changed..obviously. It wasn't because I didn't feel he should have a beautiful gown, an elaborate ceremony, a tent in the back yard, tons of food... it was just that my heart was not there...I needed to have something more than 'The Godfather' for him. (again minus the horses head) We didn't have a home church in Naples and since moving to Marco Island we still don't have a home church. I did try out a church on day and at he beginning of the service, there was a baby dedication. It was beautiful, ten little precious bundles of joy all introduced and dedicated to the Lord with the church people all praying for them. Praying that their parents would raise them in a Godly home, that they would be lead to know Jesus in their hearts as soon as possible and that they would follow the path that the Lord provides for them. It was really nice, and I got a bit emotional thinking of my own son. Hmmm. Before he was born, We did ask my sweet brother and best friends Dale and Cesare to be his Godfathers. I know that normally a child has one godfather and one Godmother. In some religions, next to the the parents, it is the Godparents that are responsible for the child should anything happen to the child's parents...this is important. It raises the question of who would Dan and I like to raise our son should anything ever happen to us, (that is another topic) Joey's Godmother's are my sister and my spiritual mentor Paula. So he has pairs and that is what Dan and I felt led to do. Humbly ask these people who play important roles in our live to love our son more..with this "label" attached to them....they all gladly accepted...yet again in some cultures the Godparents have to be of the same practicing faith. Only one of these people are. I was hitting brick walls with many religions and churches here and I was not comfortable inside the walls of an institution with this. My mother and I had thought so much about this and that and where? who? how? and in Florida or in the Boston area or what? I caved one day and said it all needs to wait. Am I having my son Christened for reasons of having a family reunion with people who don't even talk to us, but that is to be expected...or am I having my son Christened because I want him to have that Special Blessing? It was the later. So the topic faded and that was that. Then a few weeks ago, we got a call from a friend of my parents telling us that he and his wife were coming to come to Marco Island for a few days, staying at the hotel, they would love to see us....This was great. We had not seen them in years and the last time they were here was when my dad was alive...so it had been awhile....The topic was beginning to arise in my mind as well in my heart...the right thing was going to be done.... These friends of my parents, I remember growing up with their children. we were all involved with the church. We attended Maryknoll seminary as church and it was great. My parents circle of friends were all from churches. This particular visitor was a pastor at The Baptist Church in my hometown..(not a Southern Baptist, but an American Standard Baptists.) and there was always events that we were attending in churches all over my town, it was unique in the sense, everyone accepted everyone for being a "Child of God" and not a "religion". Something so rare and not found so much today. Well, when Bill and Joy came for supper, I knew what needed to be asked. We all talked for hours. My mom and I were so happy to have them, they loved on Joey and Bill shared so much about my father I never knew..during dessert, I asked them if they would come back tomorrow night and Christen/Baptize/Dedicate Joey. I explained we don't have a home church, I don't want the hoopla and just something simple and small and how I really felt with Bill being a pastor,a part of our spiritual family and, he being one of my father's closest friend and spiritual brother's it was important for me to have him bless US with blessing our son. He said "Lets do it." my heart was joyous. The next night they came back and with Holy water in a bowl that I had painted, my son dresses up looking like he should be on the docks of Newport Rhode Island, Bill Christened my son Joesph Scott Williams and blessed him with the blessings of Jesus Christ. I, naturally was in tears. I saw my husbands eyes. He too was extremely moved. He really could have cared less what we did,but he wanted it right. This was it. We didn't have Godparents and tents and gowns and food. We just had a circle of life, the presence of Christ and a very happy thirteen month old baby boy. I felt peace. IN all the time thinking about "What am I gonna do?" feeling inside me.... God opened this door and made happen EXACTLY what was to happen. Just what I really did want. Simple. Simple as the faith we have for Jesus and He has for us. My son is now "Official". I hope Bill and Joy know what they did for us that night is beyond thanks....it is a lifetime of a blessing, now Dan and I really have work to do......

I have noticed one really BIG thing since I have become a mom.....I have no idea where I am....Does this make sense?

You know you always see on Oprah as she does those make-over shows, how the mom's have lost themselves, put on an extra fifty pounds, don't color their hair anymore and just are frumpy... You know and the "excuse" always is that they put their family first and forgot about themselves....TOTALLY see how this can happen....

I have no idea where I am.....

I was looking at someones french manicure the other day as she was holding her little one, about the same age as Joey, and I thought...'Wow, she has time to get a manicure....' but, then again, when was the last time I had a manicure?.. YEARS ago.

Here me, and hear my heart. I am not throwing a pitty part for myself, I am just stating that since I have had a child, I have really given COMPLETELY of myself.
(I used to wonder how it was possible that mom's couldn't get a shower in and now I know.)
I am saying, I LOVE this new venture.

Joey is growing older, he is getting way more mobile and he will be walking soon, I am staring to look in the corners of the house for ME...little by little I find myself coming back to life and reality. It has taken be almost a year, but I have figured out how to take control of a few things and it feels good. I see myself in the mirror and I like what I see and that makes me happy and with that my son is happy and that makes me happier....but what I am seeing is the Me NOW, not the ME b/f.

Dan and I have always had a real giving marriage. We have had no secrets and he has always put me first and I him. This is one really great dynamic that we have. We give of ourselves for each other. We really can attest to understaning the true meaning of The Gift Of The Magi... and we find being this way so simple. He knows everything and I know everything. We share all, and we love to. Now w/ Joey we have given completely to this little man we are raising and it's different... yet scary and completely rewarding. There is NO room at all for "selfish" anything and I like that. We bare ourselves and our hearts to raising our son...The neat thing is, is that Dan and I are on the same wave here when it comes to this. I never get jealous of Dan's time w/ Joey. Some women do. I don't mind when Dan comes home and he loves on Joey b/f he loves on me....some women do. Some women resent that their husbands b/c they put the kids first.....but here is what we see in each other and what we know.... (with each other).. Dan and I were married 7 years b/f Joey and we had all that time to be alone together and build this incredibly secure foundation. We can also identify that the love we have for Joey is a different kind of love that we have for each other, and since Joey has arrived, we have not let Joey jeopardize that love that we have for each other...SO.. with all this rambling on....
I have not minded at all that I have no idea where I have gone. It has been a great 10 months, a fricken HARD 10 months, ( I can't believe that soon we will be celebrating Joey's first birthday.) As I see myself lurking around the corner bit by bit making my way back to myself.. I have to say, I kinda like the fact that I have not been around. I kinda like the fact that I have changes and I have done some spring cleaning w/ myself, that since I have given everything I have to my family and not myself, I kinda like that I have depleted the toxicity that was hanging around and I am finding that there really is no room in this "MOM" persona for bullshit.

I need friends who are positive and loving and not friends who love themselves and are toxic. I can not have that and neither can Joey. I have a small little group of friends who I would consider "organic" meaning....Real. No crap. No drama. No selfish games and No putting others down...They are encouraging, fun, and love their husbands and their kids. LOVE THAT...
It's all coming back, slowly but surely.
The realism of being "Joey's mom" has taken some time to set in, but when I look at that little face of my son and he smiles. I melt.
That's my calling. This is my life, so If I have to stay around the corner for a little longer b/c right now I am finding the "new mom" in Me is making Me a better wife and mom.... when the time comes for ME to emerge from around the corner... I may just ask ME to stay there and let the Me that I am now.... stick around.

New Years Sick Bay

Seriously, I started out 2011 with a phone call from Dan, "Umm, My boss is sending me home. We think I have a viral infection, I am coming home early and maybe later I will want to go to the ER...."
"Shit." I say to myself...."I can't do this right now."
Yet, all day I have Joey in my arms and I can just feel that something is not right with him. Although he does not fun at all when he doesn't feel good, I just had that feeling.....(and I will say, this really and truly is the first time I have had that motherly instinctual feeling that something is not right...It was kinda cool, cause it seemed to solidify motherhood.) But, I kept feeling Joey's little head and it was warm, his cheeks, warm, his back, warm.. I slept with him for is morning nap so he would sleep more than 20 min, he slept for three hours. I KNEW something wasn't right.
When Dan came home, I asked him to feel Joey," I think he has a fever, but I am not getting an accurate reading on the thermometer."
"I have a fever, I can't touch him if I have a fever." and off he went to his man cave.
Mom comes home from work...."Can you feel Joey, I think he has a fever."
"Oh honey he feels fine to me..." and off she went to lay down.
"Really, fine?" I was gonna take him to the park to play, it was such a nice day, but he was rubbing his eyes and that surprised me since he slept so well this morning, so we went to nap number two. Another two hours.
Once we got up, Dan emerged from the man cave and said he wanted to go to the hospital....mom wanted to not go to church and stay w/ Joey. I was changing Joey and I finally got a good reading and BOOM, he had a fever. I hollered from our room, "Joey has a high temp, we are all going to the hospital."
Packed the car and off we went. We opted for Physicians Regional on 951 cause it's never busy and it's CLEAN....so we waited only 20 min to get in. Dan was checked first by the nurse and then Joey, she took his temp in the bum and BOOM, 104.7, (way higher than what I got at home) my knees went weak. I had visions of mom going home, packing the wrong stuff in a bag and then hauling me and Joey up to North Naples Hospital to put him in the baby ward....(I had a tear running down my face.)
SO our evening progresses in the ER. We are assigned to curtain 14 and this tech comes in to give Dan a nasal culture and one for Joey....Now keep something in mind. Dan is sick so he has not held Joe since the day before. I see the tech give Dan this nasal culture, thank God I was sitting down, cause now she has to do it to Joe and I have to hold him. I close my eyes and hear this screech from my son. Yes, NOW I am crying...
I will make the story shorter in a moment.....
The tech said.."Sweetie, I have six kids, you better be ready for lots of this stuff, stitches, broken bones, ear infections, etc...."
" I know, I know." I say.... and the night went on. I also remebered when Joey was circumsised, THAT in itself is a great story, and after that I knew I could handle anything....(I must be getting mushy in my old age)

I am aware of all this stuff that will happen to Joey. Someday he will get punched (after he throws a few himself). Someday he will break a bone or two, he will have stitches, scrapped knee's blah blah blah, but it was the culture that she was giving him that got me. Joey was born only two weeks early and although he had to spend time in the nursery right after he was born, for them to watch he didn't have to have lots of stuff stuck to him. My best friend Pam, her son was born like 10 weeks early and spent sooo much time in the NICU with being poked and prodded and it didn't stop there when he was finally able to come home. My other friend Maria, she want through almost the same as Pam....and here is my little dude and a nose culture...."SUCK IT UP MAYO" I thought... this could be so much worse.
They kept us there for a few hours, every ones temp went down (a little) and they sent us home w/ prescriptions. Dan= the old fashioned influenza, Joey= ear infection... (so the doctor says) Not ONCE did my son pull at his ears.
The next day, mom came home from work sick as a dog. I about threw the towel in. Dan in his man cave being a typical sick male, Joey, glued on my hip still w/ a fever and now mom, my only hope, my only escape and she is tucked in bed sick. There is me and the dog....I about lost my mind.
So now, tonight.. the house is healing, Joey slept with me again last night. All the meds and stuff I had to pump into my son..(hate that) finally paid off, his fever broke, but I am not convinced he is better. Dan, his fever broke, but he is still hiding out in his man cave healing. He is terribly weak and certainly not up to any par. Mom, however, my saving grace, is much better... common cold. She was able to watch Joey for me so I could run to the store for 30 min.
Look. This is it. for now...... Tomorrow is a new day and I hope more healing comes to the family throughout the night. My husband wants to hold and love on his son. I just want 20 minutes alone, by myself. But here is how we start the new year....Now this new decade will bring lots more, and after this.. Bring it on...
New Years Sick Bay....

(my little man's first trip to the ER..)

Just Try...

I am working my way through this Christmas season as a 'new mom' if you will....
My son will be10 months old the day after Christmas and Dan and I still cannot believe it. 10 months. This blows us away... Dan always says "I swear I just brought you and Joey home from the hospital three months ago." I feel that way too. When people say enjoy every minute of your child being a baby...THEY MEAN IT....
Again I am getting off the beaten path here....

SO Christmas as a 'new mom' is heaps different that just a regular Christmas, like the ones I have always celebrated...as a daughter,a wife, a sister, a friend, a babysitter, an employee...Now I have a little man to lavish in Santa gifts and I really dig it. My husband and I are really in need of nothing we just want to have a great day with Joey and see how he can have fun. I have rightfully expected the solitary interest he will have in either the sticky bows or the wrapping paper. I am aware as EVERYONE tells us that he will be way more into tat than the gifts themselves... So this brought on a little experiment Christmas week.....

Joey has a wonderful Godmother who sends him gifts each holiday. Mostly books that represent the particular holiday at hand...so she sent him a big box of fun.The books are wonderful, it's the wrapped gifts that have gone untouched...sort of. I took one of her gift and I have each day been putting it in front of him to see if he will open it. He really has no interest. Little by little he has torn a piece of paper of and that's it. Last weekend some family came for three days and blessed him with so many fun things..and we all had eyes on him as he sat in front of the gifts to open....He looked at them. Looked around quizzically like he was trying to spot something, took a deep breath, let out a little squeak and BOOM...he was off crawling his way over to the dog's water bowl to tip it over....
Here is the thing.... Joey is still a "baby" even though he is tall and soo mobile. You forget he can't do stuff...
I said to Dan, "Christmas morning is gonna be a long morning opening what Babo Natale brings" and that's fine..."be sure to have a bottle of champagne chilled so we can celebrate our first Christmas with our son."
We are excited, and if it takes three days to open Babo Natale's gifts then that's okay too. Babo Natale is not bringing lots an lots of stuff.. he is leaving that to Joey's aunts and uncles..
Next year the real Christmas lessons start though. There is an understanding of this holiday that is important for Joey to learn.. It is the understanding of the birth of Jesus Christ and the importance of all that depends or relies on that little baby born in a manger. There is the importance of the multitude of angels, the shepard's and the gift from the (three "wise guys' as we call them) Magi....As he grows I hope to instill in him Christmas and his surroundings. I am sure there will be years that Dan will have to work and Joey and I will go and do something for others...Be it delivering food to home bound, serving at a shelter or something, but it is sooo important for my son to understand the gift of giving..the gift of giving and not receiving..the wonderful light spirited feeling you get when you give someone a smile, a dinner, a batch of cookies, a bathrobe, a hot meal or even a hug.
When you celebrate Christmas this year with your children or your family or yourself try stepping out of your box and reach out to someone who you would never reach out to and let them see your smile or the touch of your hand on theirs and let them know you care....even if you don't know them. You will be amazed..you will change some one's heart even if you don't think you did....Just try.....

I am well aware that it has been about five months since I have blogged... got it...(Pam)...but I have been a little busy and tired and stuff....K? (joey) ANYWAY....



So, tonight is not the night to blog. I will default it to another night, but it has taken a long time b/c...It only took Joey 8 months to sleep through the night...and he is 9 1/2 months now...meaning I am little by little catching up on sleep.. so my mind and my thoughts are starting to come back like a real human....



Hang in there (Pam).....You'll have a post b/f Christmas....

I Guess It's True... He Will Be Starting Harvard Soon.

Well, time does go by really fast. Tomorrow my little sweet son is going to be 5 months old....what? where has it gone?

At our four month Dr.s visit. Joey's cool Doctor could not believe how big he was for four months. 18 1/2 pounds and 26.5 inches in length. "so" she said..."I'm really not one to advocate any solid food feeding until children are 6 months old, but I think you should really start it now." and she laughed. It's funny.

So we go and get him all set up for eats....took a little while to get it going, but now he's like a monster... I really should not say that. There are days he likes to eat the "solid food" (which by the way is NOT solid it's all mushy) and days when he does not like it at all. So I like that 'cause then I know he is getting what he wants and what he needs from the breast milk feedings.

But dinner time is the funnest in the Williams house. He is sooo funny eating.. I always thought my kid would not have all the food all over his face, that I could get it in and leave no mess. WRONG.....it's everywhere. and now he is all about raspberries when he eats, so the food really goes everywhere.

Look this "solid food" thing is a big deal, this is the "next step" to toddlerhood

to being a kid, to being five months old. Lets face it, I have to look at pictures to remember what he looked like as a baby and to remember the days when he was a little joey....

My son is growing faster and faster each day. We are amazed. everyday he is doing something new and or better. I am not gloating saying he is a genius, or the smartest kid of advanced.. How should I know if he is or is not...he's just Joey. He just does his thing and when he is ready to move on, he will. We are happiest when he is smiling and laughing and when we are all together.

But man, FIVE months old.....yeah I guess it is true, he will be at Harvard soon....

Just Like High School

I really should be doing some kind of exercises right now while Joey is sleeping. I have my mat on the floor next to the computer desk and each time i think of someone from the past to look up on Facebook I stop what I am doing and try to find them, which then my hour is up, the baby is awake and I wonder why I don't have a flat stomach....no ones fault but my own..

The TODAY show gave a statistic the other day about how many people between the ages of this and that get up in the morning and check their Facebook status. Shame to think I could possibly fall into this category....It's not the first thing I check , I mean I have to dress and have a baby and walk a dog and breakfast and you know all that stuff, but sure enough once my son hits that crib for his morning nap. BOOM. on the computer. I gotta stop. I can use my time in other ways, like: Packing up my house for our move, like cleaning up breakfast, like exercising so I can feel better, like taking a shower...(but I have things to do outside the house and all I do is sweat, so shower later) like write Thank You Notes... other stuff....Facebook, email, blogs, the entire rapture of this age is unreal.....

My husband is SOOOO computer illiterate is awesome. He looks at a few sites and get the sports updates, the movie reviews and book reviews and that's about it. He JUST got email at work and is still saying how much he hates it. But I think... "okay, he's got it. He is a simple computer guy and wants not to get tangled in this technology web.' then we both laugh at how Joey will be 4 and have his own system all suped up and HE'S gonna have to show his daddy how to cut and paste....

Well, it's fine. I have been searching for people from the hollowed halls of my high school. The dreaded ages of high school. The age where I could not wait to get out of that building. I like to find people and see them. It's like looking at a book jacket. Married, single, kids, pictures, you now the whole bit. I find the kids that were the bullies, the popular cliches the mean girls, and the drama geeks (that was me). The great thing about F/B is you Can pick and chose who you want to be friends with. Just like in real life. Yes you can. If I don't want you in my space and on my wall, I can ignore you, just like in real life. Funny how this F/B thing is just like High School.
It has me hooked and I love to read what others think and do, sometimes live vicariously through them, and sometimes roll my eyes.....just like high school. I get on Facebook a lot throughout the day. My time can be used in better ways,... Just like High School.

4th Of July

This has to be one of my favorite holidays. I know to a lot of people this is not even a holiday, but growing up 4th of July was THE best and funest day in the summer.


I grew up in a small Yankee Massachusetts town founded not long after Plimouth. The down town looked like a quaint movie set and was perfect. Loved it.


On the 4th of July it was as if the entire town stopped and you went to the parade. The Parade stared at the high school and ended at the pretty little bus depot. A few miles and along Main street, it was perfect. first before the parade though was the pancake breakfast in Hingham center, then you made your way to your spot to watch the parade. As a kid sitting along the street you wanted and hoped for the day to walk in the parade. It was great. there were fireworks always on the 3rd of July at the beach and a band concert at the gazebo on the beach too. Typical small town Americana if you will. And sometimes Dad would let us up on the roof of the house to watch the BIG fireworks display in Boston....THAT was something. But because of those days the 4th has always been a fun holiday for me. Washington DC was a great place to be in celebrating the 4th, but Fl. not so much. Naples tries to do it, but it's just a commercial day that has gone by the wayside. It was at a time that NOTHING was open, not it's all open..

Anyway I am making some kind of point....

Since I grew up outside of one of ht e greatest cities of all time and home to so much Revolutionary History, I really engulfed myself as a student to Early American History and revolutionary History. Boston is so rich in it, since it all did start there.....

But this day also makes me think of how it REALLY was on that July 2nd day in Philadelphia as all those men signed that paper succeeding themselves from the British Parliament and King George. Did they walk from that building cheering as they announced to the onlookers what had just happened, Did they even breath as they left the building in fear of what the next step was. Could they sleep at night knowing the ramifications of the event that they has just taken part in. Did they know?

I got this email from my cousin today, so I will share it with you all about what happened to some of the men that did sign the Declaration of Independence... I liked the history behind it and it will shed a little light on what happened to these brave men.....Keep something in mind... just because these were men that had some sort of say back in the day...for some they did not end their lives like Adams and Jefferson and a few other's.... Read on...

What Happened To The 56 Men Who Signed The Declaration of Independence.....
-Five signers were captured by British as traitors and tortured before they died.
-Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.
-Two lost their sons serving in the revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.
-Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.
*They signed and pledged their lives, their future and their sacred honor..What kind of men were they?
-Twenty four lawyers and Jurists
-Eleven merchants
-Nine were farmers and large plantation owners.
* Men of means and some well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.
-Carter Braxton of VA, a wealthy plantation owner and trader saw his ships burned in the sea by the British Navy. He sold his home and property to pay his debts and died in rags.
-Sherman McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the congress with out pay and kept his family in hiding. His possession's were taken from him and poverty was his reward.
--Vandalls and soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge and Middelton.
-Atthe Battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson Jr. noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home as his headquarters, he quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed and Nelson died bankrupt.
-Francis Lewis had his home and property destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife and she died with in a few months.
-John Hart was driven form his wifes bedside as she was dying and their thirteen kids fled for their lives. His fields and gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in the forests and caves, returning home to find his wife had died and children had vanished.
*****So take a moment while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these brave men, these Patriots. It's not to much for the price they paid... Remember..Freedom is NOT free.

41...Welcome.

Yesterday I turned 41.

I really did not care to celebrate my birthday at all. My family insisted..(this is part of the 'can anyone hear me bit' Didn't want to do anything, but I ended up spending the day in celebration to appease the family... I will say this. I had a really nice time though)

At 41, it's just that I am now in those limbo ages, like 40 was big, but 41 not so big..not until 45 or even 50..argh..to even think that I will be fifty someday. But I am 41...

It's even funnier to think that. Like, wow when I was young thinking how old 40 was and now I am in this decade of....question. I don't think that it's old, but it is in a way. See. this whole "40 is the new 20's" shit is crazy. I would never want to go back to being 20 or even in my 20's. now my 30's were great and so far 40's have been a blast. I guess with a new son, a baby in this "older decade" to be starting a family I am feeling 40 's are far more rewarding....

I can break it down,

20: I was still full of piss and vinegar. I was trying to get it all done, I was tyring to be what I really wanted to..(that day) to follow the dreams and do what I wanted and not what anyone else thought I should. I listened to no one and just lived. I was invincible and just went out and kicked ass.
30: It all came together for me. I got serious. I started to LIVE the right way. I grew cautious of myself and of other's. I was striving to do the right thing.I had found a place to settle, a husband, a few jobs and loved life. I understood things and people. I heard people and found living is amazing. My family became my world and I loved that. I still was seeking out other opportunities for me and my husband, but kept them to myself and little dreams. I got a dog. I started to have expectations and quickly found that I should not expect any thing from any one, they will let you down. I started really sacrificing my life of the happiness and the dreams of others. I LOVED my 30's. I found my friends and lost some friends. I found the path that I was suppose to be on and it was/has been great.
40: I had a baby. My first and only child. My son. I share him with my wonderful husband and I feel blessed. I am lucky very much so. My son is surrounded by people who LOVE him and I am able to spend my days and nights with him. I have become a stay at home mom, but I know that soon I will have to get back out there. We can't keep this up, but I got this boy who has my heart. I no longer WANT anything for myself... see THIS is why I did not want to celebrate my birthday. It literally has NOTHING to do with me anymore....It's about him and that's how I want it too. This little boy has take over our life and we can not be happier. I no longer need to find fame and fortune just to make me happy. I no longer need to be patted on the back and made feel important. I no longer need that shit, I just need to be a good mom and LOVE my husband, my son and my dog.

At 41 I have a new career. It's the BEST job I could have ever wanted. It's a life long job that requires me to step aside and let my son shine. (it's how I wanted it anyway.. I never wanted to be the star of the show, I always liked supporting roles or to work backstage)
This is the best production I could have dreamed to be in.

No more celebrations necessary...just needs to be about him...41...WELCOME.

Popa's First Father's Day

Well, it is official... Dan has just had his VERY FIRST FATHER'S DAY.

ANNNNNND.. he loved it. He had a great day. It's funny you know. He went through his life never wanting anything to do with kids and Father's Day was just another day to him. But this was special. Now Dan is a dad and he is a great dad. He is sooo happy and LOVES to be with his son Joey. They had a great time together. Joey was smile most of the day.

We spent Saturday night in Marco Island at mom's house and woke up together as a family on Sunday morning. Joey gave Dan a gift. A new coffee mug he made. Well, he put his little finger prints on it, since his feet were to big and he would not unclench his hands, so little finger prints it was. Joey wore his 'Daddy and Me' shirt too. We went swimming in Miss Jane's pool across the street and we had the rest of the family for supper. Dan wanted steak and a spinach salad. My family celebrated him and his sister called to wish him a wonderful day. So did a few other members of my family who live out of town.
It was great.
Joey is now rounding 4 months old this Saturday and my sweet husband is doing a great job of being Joey's Popa. He loves to be with his son and they smile and laugh so much together. The love to watch 'Sid the Science Kid' together and Dan takes Joey on little adventures outside and around the house. It's great. I love to see him, them together. They are a great team. They listen to the Dave Matthews Band all the time and sing along. Come on lets face it...we all knew Dan would be a good dad. But he surpassed my wildest imagination of the dad he would be.. He is...
Love that.
So it was a wonderful celebratory day for my husband. It was Joey's Popa's First Father's Day.

A New Little Guy

My childhood friend gave birth 8 weeks early last week. Her second son was born at 1 pound 11oz. She said he is the tiniest person she has ever met.
His awesome name is Hugh Thomas Swanson. Hugh.. What a great name....
Baby Hugh has had quite a journey and there is so much more he will have to go through, but at the moment he is thriving in hospital and all seems well...

My friend, let me tell you about her. She had EVERY odd stacked up against her. The doctors gave this baby no chance in utero, they told her that everything possible that could be wrong with the baby will and she should abort...My friend told the Doctors to ...."Stick it" basically. She refused to even think about letting this unborn child go and was even willing to carry him full term even if it meant he would be stillborn.

My friend had suffered two or three miscarriages already and she wanted nothing more than to have another child. When she was blessed with this pregnancy she did everything right (as she always does) and kept her faith that she was going to have this baby. I would hear reports from people saying...."things don't look good"..."the baby is awfully small in utero, the Dr.s don't give it much hope.". And much more. Before Hugh was born, I heard that she was going to carry the baby until it was time to deliver and that was it.

Then June 10th mom calls to tell me of the wonderful news of Baby Hugh and I gave my friend a call at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston to see how she was. She sounded great and we swapped stories on C-Sections. Her spirits were high as they always are.

I was just so proud of her. So proud. She took control of the situation and told the Dr.s that she was going to have this baby, She would not back down to abort him due to medical reasons and if her baby had something wrong then they would deal with it then, but she held strong. I love that strength. I love that empowerment that she had for fighting for her and her son and her family. I love that she had a voice and she let it be heard to the Doctor's.

The Baby is 8 weeks early and he has a lot of growing and work to do in the hospital. At one pound 11 oz. things are looking good. I think of little Josie Duggar who was born so early and how she is making progress, how she is growing with the help of the hospital and the grace of God. Little Hugh will do the same. So many people have been praying for him and his new family. We continue to pray for his growth and health, for the Doctor's and nurses that tent to him and for his Mom and Dad, who never gave up on him. We pray God will cover his little boy with His grace and love and give him the strength he need to grow and be home soon.

What a little blessing. My friend, I am still awestruck at your strength. you rock and so does your new little guy.

Note: You knw what he really cool thing is....he has been breathing on his own since the day he was born....AWESOME.

A Good Shot of Fantasy and Reality.

Last night I had a chance to go out and "be Missi" as Dan says. I got kinda dressed up and met a girlfriend and her daughter at The Von Leibig Art Center for the wonderful exhibition on Princess Diana. It was a collection of some of her dresses, letters that she hand wrote, memorabilia and much more. Her story. Her story.

So I will start from the beginning. I was a Diana freak. Mom and I woke up very early on July 29, 1981 and watched her wedding on t.v. I was young and sleepy, but with the help from mom I made it through. The idea of a real princess was so exciting. I was excited about that special event all day and for years to follow.

Between the time she was married and had her first child William, my sister had gone to Europe, a stop in London and loaded up on Diana stuff for me. I still have some of it here in Naples. I wonder what I have left in storage. My BFF growing up she too was a Diana Junkie, (I would say her more than me) but we both shared the passion for the life of this woman. We thought no one could top her, to us she was the ultimate woman, she defined grace and elegance and poise and fashion and more. My BFF at the time even cut her hair to be like Diana's. We were so excited about having a positive roll model.

You know as we grew older we still enjoyed reading and talking and wishing to meet Diana. We would go down the street to the local drug store and read all the ROYAL magazines. We had pictures of her framed, we read everything we could on her and we pretended we were her American BFF's.

As Diana grew into her roll as 'The People's Princess' her time was not as fairytale-ish as my friend and I had ever hoped. She faced so much sadness and a troubled marriage and much more. Apparently the job as Princess of England is not that easy. But what she did do was break many barriers of humanity. She did things and met people and touched people that no one has done since Mother Theresa. Once her marriage was dissolved Diana really transformed herself into and untouchable and unstoppable humanitarian. Stunningly a fashionista and her work was off the chart. She was a Mom to two boys who are in line to inherit the thrown, but she always kept them grounded. She constantly reminded them how blessed they were and that there are plenty of children in the world who have nothing....

Diana's death was devastating to so many. I know I wore black for a full week. It was as if I lost my best friend. I was so sad. I remember every event leading up to finding out she passed. She was my generation's...."where were you when Kennedy was shot" we will always remember. Even Dan Rather cried on air as he reported her death. Oprah was devastated and Katie Couric was speechless.

Once she died, I stopped collecting things. Everything for sale was for a 'charity' but i never knew where the money was going. it seemed pointless. She was gone. I was so happy to go to this exhibit last night. It was good fun reliving my love for Diana, to remember who she was and the wonderful things she did. To learn facts that I had never known, to enjoy time away from the house, the husband and the son. It was great to tell my friends daughter all about a REAL PRINCESS and for her to find the dress that most resembled Cinderella's.

How sad though. Her story of life was told in the gallery in a very classy manner, and then the end. I felt a little heavy, a little sad but a little hopeful too. Being there last night reminded me how the work she did was selfless... A good shot of fantasy and reality.

Can You Hear Me?

Do you ever feel that doing the right thing never gets yo anywhere? You know being an honest person and making good solid choices constantly puts you behind the eight ball or up at night with worries or that no one believes you when you tell the honest truth?

I like to think my parents raised me in a good manner. I was never in trouble with the law. I kept my curfew, I was polite and did okay in school, had good friends and even enjoyed being with my family. Not wanting or aspiring to be a big star or a millionaire or anything but a good mom and wife and person in society....I think I am.

Funny though, Dan and I were just talking today about how we like to do the right thing and make good choices and work hard and just live...We have been happy this way, but you know there is always something that derails my "goodie two shoes" attitude.... and it kinda pisses me off. When I turned 40 last June, I made a fist and pounded it solid on the counter and stated.."I'm done with other people shit, I'm tired of being used and pushed around, I'm over being used and from now on it's gonna be my turf, my time and it's all about ME.." well, you get the idea, but what I did not know was that when I pounded my fist on the counter, I was also pregnant...so it never has been about me. Again, I am not looking for accolades...

I am just stating that I'm wondering if there will ever be a time that MY game will be played. That I can step up to the plate and show people who I am, that I don't always have to be the good guy and I will kick some ass. ... I am always afraid of pissing people off and hurting feelings....but what I am contiguously gathering is that it's all people do. And they seem to sleep pretty well at night while I am up blogging, just to get things off my chest so I too can sleep.

I am amazed daily at peoples actions, their ability to lie, steal, cheat and more and it's okay. I have a hard time playing this game. A really hard time. I will toss and turn for days, I will pray for God to lift the burden and I will actually get sick to my stomach, cry and upset my husband.... But I have this small child to raise in this unforgiving world and what am I to do? Teaching him wrong from right is actually wrong now, so it seems.....This is tough. hmmm.
I KNOW that if you choose bad, it will come back and bite you in the ass eventually...(and believe you me, sometimes I WISH I would be around to see it with some people) but for now....
I am tired of getting kicked and pushed around... I really am. One day it would be really nice for someone to say...'How are YOU today Missi?' or 'What would YOU like to do?'

Maybe I am contradicting myself, just yesterday I blogged about being selfless, and here I am today saying..I want...I want.. but it's not so much I want tangible, it's I guess I am looking to be heard every once in a while and knowing that doing the right thing makes you heard and people can see...the right path.....

Can you?

I heard a really good quote today.. lets see if I can remember it...

"It's always a good feeling doing something for someone in need."

I thought it was great to hear that. It made me think about my space and my place and wonder if I am doing things for people in need.
Okay I have a baby so that's fine, but outside my box, what am I doing and how can I be helping.
Let me get something straight. I am not wanting to do something for someone just to pat myself on the back, THAT is not me, it's a flutter I get in my heart when someone is in need and I have been able to help them. It's their smile or their humble 'Thank You' or a small touch of the hand. I don't know, but when I can sacrifice for someone who needs something so much more than me it's like everything comes together.

I hope I can teach that to Joey...I hope I can teach him to be selfless. I think greed gets people a long way and greed makes people successful, selflessness does not, but people who are selfless don't need the fame and success, they don't need that desire of self-righteousness, they just want to help.

I think it has to start early too, like the kids at a young age who "wants this" or "is this mine" or "I want that" crap. here is the thing...give the kids what they want all the time...they play with it, see something else and want that other thing. Bored and tired with the first now they expect you to get the other thing cause they are over the first thing. A monster cycle. But as that child grows it is juster was as they will be as an adult. Bored with this job, do some thing else...(can't hold a job down or doesn't want to work hard for anything expecting people to do everything for them) Never bring satisfied with what you have and wanting more. Never being grateful for the things you do have and the things you want but don't have.....

People laugh at us 'cause we still use our VCR. (just making a point)

Look at where you are and ask yourself, can you be selfless and give to someone. Can you totally sacrifice for someone else.....(and be honest, not like your kids or your husband or your wife.) Can you step out of the box?

All Excuses....

My mother recently told me that my sweet cousin's wife has been admitted to a rehab center on the Cape. She is a drinker....a serious drinker. (this could explain SOOOO much)

The shit part is that she is a closet drinker and she kept it hidden from everyone. My cousin does not drink so he had no idea. It was not until his young son, about 7 or 8 told him and my cousin's mother-in-law about her activities. How he would come home from school and see his own mother in the state that she was in from drinking. How he never wanted to walk in the door after school because he did not want to see her. How he use to HATE getting IN THE CAR with her because she had been drinking...I cried terribly today for him. for my cousin and his son. NO ONE should be driving when they have been drinking, never mind their own children around... you have some nerve woman .....CRAP. what the hell..

I lost a brother to a drunk driving accident...I can't tell you how strong I feel about this. I don't care if you have a sip...you don't friggin' drive. (enough of my soap box)

So this little courageous boy stands up to his over bearing mother's family to tell them all. They put her in a rehab and the insurance only pays for five days, just enough time for her to be pissed and come out of there to find her son, who told on her, is at Children's Hospital in Boston having hip surgery, and this could and most likely will send he back to her closet habits. Her family does NOTHING but make excuses for her....

"Oh you know she needs a break." or
"she has never felt comfortable there..." or
"Oh she has an image to uphold." or
"work is so stressful and then with the children.." or
"oh a drink here and there is no big dear." or
"she was very very busy at work." or
"she just needs to take the edge off."

It's all an excuse, a fucking excuse, so THEY too can't see that she has a problem.

Here is my passion okay...first losing my brother....second. My cousin is one of the sweetest men that has ever walked this earth. He is kind and gentle and has been fighting to save his family for years. (she and her family are a bit difficult if you will, they will hold a grudge until the final days.) He has never deserved the shit that she has put him through. He is always working and trying to take care of his children and keep his marriage alive so he does not have to subject his kids to the single parent life. (He is from a broken home, and his father never wanted anything to do with him and his brothers.) He is just a great guy. Always has had a fun sense of humor and is full of love. I am sooo sorry that this is what is going on in his world. I have been in tears today thinking about this and it has really bothered me. I just love him so much that I hate that he has to go through this.

I have never personally had alcoholism in my immediate family. I don't know, but I do know I have never had a drink and driven home. I have never had a good time out because I am always the designated driver...I can say when you are not drinking it's no fun watching others get stupid and sloppy, quiet and moods change. I rarely drink, it's no fun anymore I leave it up to other people and let them carry the demons around...LOOK I am not saying that drinking is bad or wrong, I would love to relax with a good glass of red wine after a long day. I love red wine, but I just can't do it right now..plus my wine taste is very expensive and I can think of lots of other stuff to do with that money than to blow it on a bottle of wine. What pleasure will I get from it three days after it's gone. At least my electric bill has been paid and the air is on. I relax other ways...somedays....I enjoy my life and I don't have to piss it away.....(my soap box again)

I was told a saying today about how a close recovering alcoholic thinks.....'One drink is to many, a thousand drinks is not enough.'... Sounds about right.

I give people A LOT of credit who can over come this terrible addiction. Yes I do. It is not easy and it forces you to take a good look at yourself. Stripped down and raw....the majority of us can't do that. I hope that she will be better...(I doubt it though.) I just have felt sooo bad for my cousin and his kids. It's not anyway to live. His cross is so heavy, he knows it too. I just hope he will be okay as well as his two kids. That little boy has many many years to remember how things were and what he saw. I hope he too will find peace in his mind and heart and life.

Probation Period OVER!

My sweet son turned three months old today.

I cannot believe it. Three months. How time flies...(well)

I am only a first time mom and this is my last time being a mom too....but I have to say... SHIT it is NOT easy. Some people can say "time flies, before you know it he willbe in college" and I think back on these past three months...LOVING every minute of having Joey in my life... yeah it has gone by fast, some days and some days it has gone by slow.

I never thought motherhood would be an easy task. I remember babysitting one time and I was taking Care of this kid for a week while his folks were enjoying the sun, (this is when I was living in Hingham). So he was a bit challenging at this age of two and still lots of fun. I was and am always one to keep busy, so there was a lot going on for us, but at one point mid week I remember stopping and thinking..."Crap, how do single parents do this?" Now I was just babysitting, and I was tired... I have no idea how a single mom can do all that is done, and work and daycare and other stuff..

My little man is easy. We have climbed over the colic stuff and have just started thinking about a routine.....I LOVE routines. I can plan around them and through them. Structure is what I like and I am hoping that with this new month of age, my son will pick up on the "routine" thing...

We'll see....whatever comes our way comes.. I am ready and almost prepared.

For those curious minds...

No he is not sleeping through the night. I am up a few times, and love every moment of it.

I am still breastfeeding and hate using formula. He really does not care much for it either.

I have no plans to get back to the grind as of yet and I love every minute of that, yet it mean we will be poor and that is fine.....

On our walk tonight, Dan and I were thinking back at three months ago today. The little man in our arms as a newbie, a plebe a freshman.....He is three months old today... He is 90 days old.

He has passed the probation period, is super fun, super cute and we're gonna keep him...

Entering a New Phase

I know for all my peeps, it has been over a month since my last entry...
SOOOO Sorry. I am trying to just get this mother thing down and it looks as if it is all coming together.
(except for my hot flashes... Umm unbalanced hormones suck)
But all in all my son is Three months old today and I put him in his crib this morning and he is actually taking a nap....
This is HUGE...
So with that said, I thought I would just ask all of you to hang in there with me, I have soooo much to say, and so much is happening that we need to share, but I have some housework to do.
I have no idea how long Joey will be sleeping, so I need to get as much done as possible.
I will be back though...
Memorial Day weekend is upon us and it's a wonderful time to remember....
I am entering a new phase with so much.
I will love and share very soon.
Thanks for waiting....

Think Tim McGraw....

When I was young, like in high school, for some reason I had always wanted to do two things... One drive across country in a jeep and two live in Washington D.C. I don't know why D.C but it always seemed like a city that was full of culture, power and honor. Lots of history and since I wanted to be an Early American History teacher (which I am not) I thought D.C would be a great place.....


SO I had the chance when I was like 26 and moved there. Well, not right in the city but first I stayed with friends in Northern Virginia, and then I moved to Maryland. I also attended the University of Maryland in College Park for two years. I was so glad I was there.


I had access to the city twenty four seven. It was great. All the wonderful monuments are free and so much happens. I needed something cultural. Like Boston D.C is a very cultural city. So dabbled in college for a bit, and headed into the real world of Corporate America. Working a gig with Marriott in one of their hotels and finding a place where I belonged then and at that time in my life. It was a good stint and I love that hotel even to this day.....


I fell in love with what was known as "the mid-Atlantic region" Virginia, Maryland and D.C. there was so much to do all the time. Even when I was busy and spent, there was so much going on. Although most of my time was spent working, which I did not mind, because the people at the hotel became my family away from home, I had some really great opportunities being there and meeting and be-friending some really wonderful people as well as some not so wonderful people.
Anyway, I loved that area to live in and I would go back to it in a heart beat.

While working at the hotel, I met this guy from a friends and he was a bit dishy...Okay not really , but he was really into country music, so I got into country music. Even own a pair of cowboy boots which I love. So there were a few other friends that liked country music and at one time a friend of mine asked if I wanted to go to the Tim McGraw concert. "Hell yeah, I wanted to go." (that experience is another blog in itself) But I bought his tape, (CD's were just making an appearance) and I would listen to a few songs and that was all.
I had this gig one day for the hotel and that was at some golf tournament that was forty minutes away from Bethesda. (heading west, so your heading out to the country now) But the day was a stunning fall day, the leaves were all colors and the temp was, golf pants and a golf shirt kind of a day. Very comfy. I sat on the ninth green and gave out free dinner vouchers for our restaurant at the hotel. It was fun. Something different than usual hotel stuff.....

On the way home from the tournament I was in my own world, loving the sights of the back roads and colors on the trees, the thought of apple picking on my next day off and I was playing the Tim McGraw tape in my car. I let the tape run this time so I listened to it's entirety. There was one song that gripped my heart....'One of These Days'. The words were stunning. I loved this song....I could relate to it so much......(you can find the video on you tube)

Anyway, the other day I had some music on in the house and that song came on. I almost fell over. It's just that it put me back so clearly to that fall day in Maryland. I missed it so much. I missed EVERYTHING about that day and the fall. You know how something triggers a memory or something inside you and you have to pause what you are doing and be in the moment. That's how it was. Complete.
Summer is approaching in Naples very quickly and with a new infant son I am wondering how often we will be outside 'cause it gets so hot. We don't have much of a fall here in Naples either. But I have the fondest memories of the fall from that song and that day and that time of my life.

Taylor Swift sings a song called 'Tim McGraw'... the words..."when you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think of me." Well, when I think Tim McGraw, I think of that fall day.