Miles is just hanging around on his usual perch this morning while I pen...(We do have the windows open so he feels the need to bark at every noise he hears)... February in Naples....
So last night the husband asks me "what do you work tomorrow?"
"I don't " I replied "I have the day off..."
"Well what are you going to do then on your day off?"
"I'm not sure yet, I don't have a plan."
Husband almost fell to his knees....I ALWAYS have a plan. I always have SOMETHING to do. I like it more that way because it give me a small feeling of purpose...a small feeling that I actually have something ....you know...So I have this day off today. Got up and walked the dog as usual...we took a different route, nice long walk and came home and looked around. I have a friend coming to stay with us for a few days, but I cleaned the house yesterday...I could go to the beach and get a little sun... but I have to get a parking sticker...I could get a parking sticker...but then I would have to actually do something....
I wonder if it is in us to always have SOMETHING going on... I mean I had a friend who could not relax...I would be frightened to go away with her on a short holiday and sit on the beach, I don't know if she could do it..she can never relax... I am starting to think that I am getting that way...I relax by reading in bed. Lately that is my favourite thing to do. But I feel like if i climb into bed on my day off to read, then I am ruining my day... Like going places.. I need to know about the place... The history the sights the... "look we traveled all this way and paid all this money we are going to see everything..." Like Ross Gellar on Friends when he takes all the hotel amenities...Oh my... My poor husband...he just wants to find a pub somewhere and sit and drink a beer... I want to know how the pub got there, the history of the building, who the owners are, where they came from are the a success story, what famous people have been there and more.... Sick.
Maybe it comes from feeling like either I got jiped in high school of a total educational experience (not socially I had my fun in high school) or I jipted myself in high school educationally...It was the advance kids...the upper standard kids...the standard kids and the lower standard kids....(I was lower standard) maybe that was it...when I was young I was told I would never be good in school... there you go, but I wonder if I had a chance I could have kept up with some of those higher groups... you never know, it's like once I left high school my thirst for learning about everything had sprung into action.
20years out of school..this past year..funny. I would never even think about going to a reunion...
I have no interest in being again. We were terrible people in high school. ALL of us, I don't care who you are...we are selfish individuals who have to show off or be shown off...we don't care about a thing...why would I want to go back and relive that? see that's because when you are from a small town like I was from..there are still people there who are the exact same way.. Move on..that's what I say. I love to go back to my small town and eat Brigham's Ice Cream and see the families that I babysat for, but as far as reliving high school...HELL NO.
And Having no plan is a bit scary to me really. I will have to conger something up because if I don't have a plan then I find myself into a shame spiral on something that has no relevance to anything. Can I relax and find another book to read? Can I go to the beach? Can I call a friend and meet them for lunch? Can I do.....? What will it be, how will it be...
I'm not sure
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