Finding Peace in Breastfeeding....

Okay... well this moment actually is HUGE that I can sit down, alone and blog a bit. My son is in his crib sleeping... not sure for how long, but with a lot accomplished, I can blog....

So let me just start by saying..."YES I LOVE MOTHERHOOD". It rocks. I mean my little man is only 5 weeks today....but he is still rather easy... The other day I was sharing with a friend that caring for Joey is fairly easy, it's adding the rest of the world in that complicates things... you know, laundry, shopping, suppers, etc. but all in all it has taken me about 5 weeks to get things under control and I have begun to figure it all out. (so far so good)

Okay the thing I really wanted to blog about is a humbling experience that I have had....and it starts like this....BREASTFEEDING SUCKS. I am not a fan, but I do it. I don't really like it, but I do it. It hurts like hell and you have no idea how much milk your little one is getting, and your boobs hurt, and your nipple are huge and you know. I think the lactation class was great but the teacher should have started out the class by saying how hard it is....I have been very open minded to breastfeeding since I knew i was pregnant. It was the ONLY way I wanted things to go... but we have had to use formula at times and that has worked to my benefit at times too. I pump a lot and feed Joey with my milk from a bottle....I was telling my nurse at the doctors the other day that so many times I want to pick up the phone and call the Dr. and have him give me a water pill to dry everything up...but I don't. She encouraged me more and I really got to thinking about things....
1. I want to quit breastfeeding because it's time consuming.....selfish thought.
2. It hurts and it's uncomfortable....OOOO poor little missy.
3. I OWE it to MY son to give him the BEST possible care I can and breast feeding is part of that.
4. It slows me down.....about time something does.

Then I was watching an episode of "19 Kids and Counting" you know the Duggar Family. That family in Arkansas who have 19 kids....well I LOVE that show. I think they are a great family and that the parents do a great job of raising the children. SO I could really care less your opinion about the show. I am a fan....
What struck me was the newest member of the Duggar clan, was born so early. She was 21 weeks old, (I think) and a pound. 39 days later she weighs in at 2 pounds and something oz. but here is the kicker to me....Michelle Duggar, (the mom) spends 6 hours a day pumping breast milk for her premature daughter, so when the little one can have milk she will have her mothers milk.
Michelle has a deep freezer in the rental home they are staying in close to the hospital for the baby (they live three hours away and they moved their family closer to the hospital so they can be a family and with their baby.) SO she has a deep freezer filled with bottles of frozen breast milk.
It kinda pulled at my heart and hit me between the eyes.....Look what they have already sacrificed for this little baby. All of them moving, their lifestyle and schooling and being a family, Parents time away from the rest of the children so they can be at the hospital with the baby. Michelle spending that much time day and night pumping so her small child can be healthy.... And I am complaining that breastfeeding and pumping is a pain in the ass....Not any more.
I thought about the whole idea and realized, I am putting my conveniences first and what I want first and not thinking about what is best for Joey and even my family. I can breastfeed and I will breastfeed, and since then I have been diligent and happy to do it. I pump when I can and feed when he wants even in the dead of night. It is actually easier. I am doing it....

So thanks Michelle Duggar AGAIN for teaching me a lesson in caring for my child. I am sure you have many more to teach me and I am open to all of them....

So literally...Breastfeeding does suck, but it's Joey who does the sucking and me finding peace in it.