Think Tim McGraw....

When I was young, like in high school, for some reason I had always wanted to do two things... One drive across country in a jeep and two live in Washington D.C. I don't know why D.C but it always seemed like a city that was full of culture, power and honor. Lots of history and since I wanted to be an Early American History teacher (which I am not) I thought D.C would be a great place.....


SO I had the chance when I was like 26 and moved there. Well, not right in the city but first I stayed with friends in Northern Virginia, and then I moved to Maryland. I also attended the University of Maryland in College Park for two years. I was so glad I was there.


I had access to the city twenty four seven. It was great. All the wonderful monuments are free and so much happens. I needed something cultural. Like Boston D.C is a very cultural city. So dabbled in college for a bit, and headed into the real world of Corporate America. Working a gig with Marriott in one of their hotels and finding a place where I belonged then and at that time in my life. It was a good stint and I love that hotel even to this day.....


I fell in love with what was known as "the mid-Atlantic region" Virginia, Maryland and D.C. there was so much to do all the time. Even when I was busy and spent, there was so much going on. Although most of my time was spent working, which I did not mind, because the people at the hotel became my family away from home, I had some really great opportunities being there and meeting and be-friending some really wonderful people as well as some not so wonderful people.
Anyway, I loved that area to live in and I would go back to it in a heart beat.

While working at the hotel, I met this guy from a friends and he was a bit dishy...Okay not really , but he was really into country music, so I got into country music. Even own a pair of cowboy boots which I love. So there were a few other friends that liked country music and at one time a friend of mine asked if I wanted to go to the Tim McGraw concert. "Hell yeah, I wanted to go." (that experience is another blog in itself) But I bought his tape, (CD's were just making an appearance) and I would listen to a few songs and that was all.
I had this gig one day for the hotel and that was at some golf tournament that was forty minutes away from Bethesda. (heading west, so your heading out to the country now) But the day was a stunning fall day, the leaves were all colors and the temp was, golf pants and a golf shirt kind of a day. Very comfy. I sat on the ninth green and gave out free dinner vouchers for our restaurant at the hotel. It was fun. Something different than usual hotel stuff.....

On the way home from the tournament I was in my own world, loving the sights of the back roads and colors on the trees, the thought of apple picking on my next day off and I was playing the Tim McGraw tape in my car. I let the tape run this time so I listened to it's entirety. There was one song that gripped my heart....'One of These Days'. The words were stunning. I loved this song....I could relate to it so much......(you can find the video on you tube)

Anyway, the other day I had some music on in the house and that song came on. I almost fell over. It's just that it put me back so clearly to that fall day in Maryland. I missed it so much. I missed EVERYTHING about that day and the fall. You know how something triggers a memory or something inside you and you have to pause what you are doing and be in the moment. That's how it was. Complete.
Summer is approaching in Naples very quickly and with a new infant son I am wondering how often we will be outside 'cause it gets so hot. We don't have much of a fall here in Naples either. But I have the fondest memories of the fall from that song and that day and that time of my life.

Taylor Swift sings a song called 'Tim McGraw'... the words..."when you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think of me." Well, when I think Tim McGraw, I think of that fall day.

Finding Peace in Breastfeeding....

Okay... well this moment actually is HUGE that I can sit down, alone and blog a bit. My son is in his crib sleeping... not sure for how long, but with a lot accomplished, I can blog....

So let me just start by saying..."YES I LOVE MOTHERHOOD". It rocks. I mean my little man is only 5 weeks today....but he is still rather easy... The other day I was sharing with a friend that caring for Joey is fairly easy, it's adding the rest of the world in that complicates things... you know, laundry, shopping, suppers, etc. but all in all it has taken me about 5 weeks to get things under control and I have begun to figure it all out. (so far so good)

Okay the thing I really wanted to blog about is a humbling experience that I have had....and it starts like this....BREASTFEEDING SUCKS. I am not a fan, but I do it. I don't really like it, but I do it. It hurts like hell and you have no idea how much milk your little one is getting, and your boobs hurt, and your nipple are huge and you know. I think the lactation class was great but the teacher should have started out the class by saying how hard it is....I have been very open minded to breastfeeding since I knew i was pregnant. It was the ONLY way I wanted things to go... but we have had to use formula at times and that has worked to my benefit at times too. I pump a lot and feed Joey with my milk from a bottle....I was telling my nurse at the doctors the other day that so many times I want to pick up the phone and call the Dr. and have him give me a water pill to dry everything up...but I don't. She encouraged me more and I really got to thinking about things....
1. I want to quit breastfeeding because it's time consuming.....selfish thought.
2. It hurts and it's uncomfortable....OOOO poor little missy.
3. I OWE it to MY son to give him the BEST possible care I can and breast feeding is part of that.
4. It slows me down.....about time something does.

Then I was watching an episode of "19 Kids and Counting" you know the Duggar Family. That family in Arkansas who have 19 kids....well I LOVE that show. I think they are a great family and that the parents do a great job of raising the children. SO I could really care less your opinion about the show. I am a fan....
What struck me was the newest member of the Duggar clan, was born so early. She was 21 weeks old, (I think) and a pound. 39 days later she weighs in at 2 pounds and something oz. but here is the kicker to me....Michelle Duggar, (the mom) spends 6 hours a day pumping breast milk for her premature daughter, so when the little one can have milk she will have her mothers milk.
Michelle has a deep freezer in the rental home they are staying in close to the hospital for the baby (they live three hours away and they moved their family closer to the hospital so they can be a family and with their baby.) SO she has a deep freezer filled with bottles of frozen breast milk.
It kinda pulled at my heart and hit me between the eyes.....Look what they have already sacrificed for this little baby. All of them moving, their lifestyle and schooling and being a family, Parents time away from the rest of the children so they can be at the hospital with the baby. Michelle spending that much time day and night pumping so her small child can be healthy.... And I am complaining that breastfeeding and pumping is a pain in the ass....Not any more.
I thought about the whole idea and realized, I am putting my conveniences first and what I want first and not thinking about what is best for Joey and even my family. I can breastfeed and I will breastfeed, and since then I have been diligent and happy to do it. I pump when I can and feed when he wants even in the dead of night. It is actually easier. I am doing it....

So thanks Michelle Duggar AGAIN for teaching me a lesson in caring for my child. I am sure you have many more to teach me and I am open to all of them....

So literally...Breastfeeding does suck, but it's Joey who does the sucking and me finding peace in it.